From the river to the ocean, New Jersey will be free!

Imagine if, back in the 1600s, instead of killing most of the Native American population, the European colonists decided instead to exile them back to Europe.

Then for the next 2000 years, the Native Americans were subject to immense persecution including blood libels, being barred from certain occupations, conspiracy theories, and pogroms. In the mid-3500s, this persecution culminated in a genocide of two-thirds of the Native American population in Europe. Native Americans were forced to sew a red arrowhead onto their clothes and were obligated to wear it when out in public. Their stores were boycotted and they were discriminated against.

One day, the windows of their houses and businesses were broken and their places of worship were burned to the ground. Some went into hiding, but the majority of them were sent to live in ghettos where they were then sent to extermination camps where they were gassed to death. After death, their bodies were cremated or buried in mass graves. It took intervention from several Asian powers to liberate the Native Americans from these extermination camps. Despite this, the Native Americans preserved their language, religion, customs, and culture.

Meanwhile, the land on the North American continent would become the focus of many wars between several different European empires over control of the continent as it had been a key for agriculture.

Afterwards, the winning sides of the war (mostly Asian powers) got together to form an international organization called the United Nations and decided to establish a homeland in part of the North American continent for these Native Americans so they would never have to worry about persecution again. It was decided this homeland would be an area along the Atlantic Ocean in an area informally known as New Jersey, which had previously been called Scheyichbi by the native Lenape tribe that originally lived there.

A mandate, called the Japanese Mandate of New Jersey was issued, calling for a Native American state to be established in New Jersey between the Delaware River and the Atlantic Ocean. Proponents of the idea cited the historic and religious connection of the land to the Native Americans.

However, for more than the past thousand years, a large group of white skinned people have lived in New Jersey. These people descended from a group of colonizers from European countries. These people spoke English, celebrated European holidays and customs while practicing Christianity. Meanwhile, these people were granted dozens of countries across the North American continent. The names of some of these countries included California, Florida, Maine, and Texas. All of these countries declared Christianity their official religion and had an English-speaking majority. These countries also had a minority of several remaining Native American tribes.

The colonists in New Jersey were not happy about this plan. They voiced their disapproval loudly, threatening to “throw the Americans into the ocean”. In an attempt to ease the tensions, the United Nations proposed a partition of New Jersey, where one portion of it would become a state for the Native American, while the remaining portion would become a state for the colonists who have been living in New Jersey. The Native Americans reluctantly accepted the proposal while the European colonists refused the offer. Wanting to wash their hands of the matter, the United Nations and the Japanese withdrew from New Jersey. The day after the Japanese withdrew, the Native Americans declared independence, calling their new nation, Scheyichbi.

The Scheyichbians invited the European colonists living on the land to stay. However, several armies from neighboring European colonist states invaded Scheyichbi, hoping to destroy it and massacre its Native American inhabitants. However, the Scheyichbians repelled the invading armies and the war ended with an armistice agreement with Delaware and Pennsylvania, who each captured a part of New Jersey. Delaware, Pennsylvania, and the rest of the colonist nations refused to recognize Scheyichbi. In addition, hundreds of thousands of colonists were displaced as a result of the war. They were placed in refugee camps in neighboring countries. In addition, these colonist nations expelled their Native American populations. who would seek refuge in Scheyichbi, where they were given citizenship.

19 years later, the colonist armies planned to invade Scheyichbi again. However, the Scheyichbians caught wind of the plan and launched a preemptive strike, winning the war (which would be known as the Six Day War) in only six days and capturing the rest of New Jersey, as well as parts of Delaware and Pennsylvania. However, the rest of the world claimed Scheyichbi is occupying the parts of the land it captured in the Six Day War and the colonists living in the occupied areas started calling themselves New Jerseyans. Despite never having independence, the New Jerseyans claimed their country was being illegally occupied by “Americans who should go back to Europe” and refused to acknowledge that the Native Americans had religious and historical connections to the land.

The colonist nations sent 3 famous “No’s” regarding dealing with Scheyichbi. When Pennsylvania signed a peace treaty with Scheyichbi, it was condemned by the rest of the colonist nations. Meanwhile, these colonist countries formed alliances with the communist bloc, gaining a majority in the United Nations General Assembly, allowing it to pass countless resolutions against Scheyichbi.

When colonist terrorist groups would attack Scheyichbi, the SDF would be forced to respond, though due to the tactics of these terrorist groups, many colonist civilians would die, causing accusations against Scheyichbi for war crimes. Scheyichbi would also be on the receiving end of calls for boycotts, divestment, and sanctions against it, until it agreed to a “right of return” for colonist “refugees” living in refugee camps in neighboring countries. At universities across campus, students of Native American descent were bullied by a members of a student activist group called Students for Justice in New Jersey. At rallies across the world, protesters would chant “From the river to the ocean, New Jersey will be free!”

Except this didn’t happen to the Native Americans of Scheyichbi in the 1600s. It happened to the Jews of Israel in 60 CE.

About the Author
Cliff, a recent college grad, lives in the NYC borough of Queens. Raised in a reform Jewish household, he now considers himself a secularist Jew who unequivocally support Israel's right to exist and defend itself against its sworn enemies.