Gilgul: Conversion Often Is Becoming Jewish Again

Most people know that in Orthodox Jewish Law: if the mother is Jewish, the children are Jewish; if only the father is Jewish, the children are not Jewish. Why is it that Jewish women can make Jews; and Jewish men can’t?

The answer might go back to the first two Jews; Abram/Abraham and Sarai/Sarah. Genesis 12:5 states, “Abram took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all their accumulated property, and the souls they had made in Haran and they left to go to the land of Canaan.” Since it is impossible for any human to make a soul, this verse must refer to the people that Abram and Sarai influenced to join them in their religious quest. (Midrash Genesis Rabbah 39:14)

The Zohar says that all these converts formed a large caravan whose merits protected Abram and Sarai as they traveled from city to city. Ever since that time the merits of converts to Judaism have added to the strength of the Jewish people and thus helped protect us on our long journey. If this is true why do many Jews fail to encourage non-Jews to become Jewish? Sometimes they fear a negative reaction on the part of the non-Jew or on the part of the larger non-Jewish society.

The Midrash correctly indicates that Abraham and Sarah both influenced non-Jews to become Jewish but it doesn’t explain why Sarai made more converts than Abraham. He should have influenced more non-Jews to become Jewish than Sarah since he traveled around more and had greater opportunities to meet people.

Unfortunately, Abraham sometimes rebuffed non-Jews. Rabbi Yohanan claimed that Abraham “barred people from entering under the wings of the Shekinah” (converting to Judaism) and that is why his descendants were enslaved in Egypt. (Talmud Nedarim 32a) Abraham is specifically criticized for discouraging Timna the sister of Lotan (Genesis 36:12) who the Rabbis determined wanted to convert to Judaism.

Because Timna was rebuffed by Abraham she married a pagan. Her son Amalek passed on Timna’s resentment of being pushed away by Abraham, to his mother’s descendants who eventually became the tribe that attacked the Jewish people when they were on the way to Mount Sinai. (Talmud Sanhedrin 99b)

Thus our sages taught that a negative attitude toward non-Jews who are interested in becoming Jewish can lead to antisemitism in later generations.

How do we know that Sarah was more successful in encouraging non-Jews to convert to Judaism? Years later when God tells Abraham, “Abide by everything that Sarah tells you” (Genesis 21:12) the Midrash explains, “You should listen to Sarah since in prophecy she is on a higher level than you.”

How could Sarah be on a higher spiritual level than Abraham? Because she influenced more non-Jews to become Jewish than Abraham did. This might be the reason more women than men become Jewish every year; and the women seem more Jewishly committed because they [see below] have souls with roots that stretch back to mother Sarah.

For centuries it was much harder to make converts because almost all Non-Jews lacked a Jewish soul; but according to a rabbinic Midrash all the Jews standing at Sinai were accompanied by the souls of all the non-Jews who were destined to become Jewish in the future. So they had Jewish souls, and as the centuries passed more and more of these Jewish souls were recent Gilgulim-reincarnations of their own Jewish ancestors, as the following autobiography indicates.

My Story by Eliana Gabrielle Kimberly Tillman

My first Jewish memory was when I was in elementary school. I don’t remember which grade it was, but I do remember it was a music class. It was in December so we were learning holiday songs. In addition to the songs that were heard everywhere during that time of year the teacher also taught us a couple of new songs that I had never heard before. They were the Dreidel Song and Hava Nagila. We also learned to dance the Hora. Despite the fact that I had never heard these songs or danced this dance, I distinctly remember feeling that they were familiar to me.

My immediate family never attended church on a regular basis. My extended family who we rarely saw were different in so many ways than any of us. They all spent a lot of time and effort memorizing parts of their bible. They then used the passages they memorized as ways to make themselves feel superior to others. When we did go to church it was a Presbyterian church, but more often than not we came up with excuses why not to go.

While in high school, I had the biggest crush on one of my brother’s friends. When I found out that he was Jewish, I liked him even more. If I had been asked, I wouldn’t have been able to say why that made him more attractive, but it did. Of course, no one even knew that I had a crush on him. I later found out that he had decided he didn’t want to be Jewish and started studying Buddhism.

I just couldn’t help but think that he had been given the gift of being born Jewish and he was giving it back. It made no sense to me. I later learned that he had been adopted by Jewish parents and just didn’t feel connected. I certainly understood that feeling.

Many times through the years I would see a movie or read a book with a Jewish character and I would feel a connection. I don’t know how old I was when I first learned about the Holocaust, but I was devastated. I cried like my whole family had died. I couldn’t understand why others seemed so untouched by it. I, on the other hand, was moved by everything Jewish.

The time finally came for my conversion ceremony. It was July 27, 2010. I had not asked any friends to attend as I didn’t think anyone would take time out of their busy lives to drive an hour away to the synagogue in Fresno. It turned out that 4 of my new friends did just that. Also there were the Rabbi and two members of his synagogue that had agreed to be part of the Beit Din.

The four of us first went to the Rabbi’s office. The only question they had was why I wanted to convert. I told them my story. When I was done, one of the gentlemen that I had never met before stood with tears in his eyes, hugged me, and told me that my story was one of the most beautiful things that he had ever heard.

We then signed the certificate as the Rabbi said he didn’t know if there was going to be time after the Mikveh. We went to the Bimah where I put on my tallit for the first time. The Rabbi then got the Torah from the ark and handed it to me. I was not told that this was going to happen and I just started to cry.

Normally I don’t cry as often as it would seem reading this story. It took some time, however, to recite the Shema and other prayers that the Rabbi wanted me to say as I had difficulties trying to control my crying. I was just so overwhelmed with feelings about the Torah: the history of it, what it takes to create it, how much it costs, what it means, and on and on. I couldn’t believe I was given such a privilege.

When I was finally able to look up after finishing, I realized I was not the only one who was crying. Everyone else, including the Rabbi, was crying as well. We then went to a lake nearby for the Mikveh ceremony. I went under the water 3 times. After getting out of the lake, we went back to the synagogue where I changed into dry clothes. Then my friends took me to lunch. It couldn’t have been a more perfect day.

Since then I continue to take classes at my synagogue (Living a Jewish Life, Lunch and Learn with the student Rabbi when he is in town, Torah study, and Hebrew). I check out books from the synagogue library and order more books from Amazon both in paper and on my Kindle. For everything new I learn, I realize how much more there is to learn. I can’t seem to read enough. It is so different than when I was studying for school though.

A lot of the time, I feel like I am not so much learning new information, but remembering information that I had once known and somehow forgotten. So really, this is not the end of this story, but merely the beginning.