‘God is not averse to deceit in a just cause’

Blaming incident on officer’s ‘misunderstanding,’ Hidai Zilberman apologizes for inaccuracy, says his unit doesn’t take part in psychological warfare.

Obviously, Brig Gen Zilberman has a limited concept of warfare and has to resign. Whatever Lt. Col. Jonathan Conricus may or may not have said, and regardless of who ordered him to say it – because the IDF Spokesman merely repeats rather than creates – his position too is now untenable. This will create two vacancies (my CV is below) for senior spokespersons positions – why appoint one person when two can disagree, sounds like shul business.

An Israeli Spokesperson (IDF image) A very serious man

The (alleged) incident (allegedly) in question, as you all know is the “leaking” (or  not) of a weapon of mass disinformation by what I understand is called a “tweet” that certain units of the Israel Defence Force may or may not be about to take part in some kind of  combat. Well, for one, this, if it is true, would be the first time that anyone had ever said what the IDF may do in the future and should thus have obviously been picked up as “fake news”. So what the gentlemen in question may have been doing was merely demonstrating the professionalism (sic) of the FPC (foreign press cretins).

Some of you may be wondering why someone in my position would criticize the undoubted professionalism and “streetwise savvyness” of the IDF Spokespersons office when I am often in need (despair?) of their assistance. I hear a knowing wink from “local” readers, for the other one, biting the hand that feeds you is second only to banging your car door into that of your neighbor at the Supermarket for Israeli contact sports.

There was a report recently concerning the “independent” press in Gaza, a humorous oxymoron right up there with military intelligence. You know, those guys on behalf of whom POTUS complained recently that they were being unfairly targeted. Apparently if they did not publish what they were told they “lost their seat at the top table” – which I take to mean “were not informed of the future terrorism plans” of HAMAS, the PFLP, the PLO, the Judean’s People Front and a myriad other splinter groups,  all of whom surprisingly had the same aims – random as it turns out. But wait, and here is the good bit, that is precisely the same tactic used by Obama 44 to keep at bay the fourth estate, a group of dishonest, conniving, scandalous individuals who send their articles and photos to trashy magazine companies for money. They … turn facts into fiction, and they dig deep into the lives of innocent people until they find something to write about, I’m sorry, I forget who wrote that. So no surprise at Democratic indignation at the least democratic group in the least democratic state – will Abu Mazen  ask to join the UN as the Democratic Republic of Palestine?

Arab spokesperson (Facebook image) –duh,  which newsfeed are you going to watch?

Arab spokesperson (Facebook image) –duh,  which newsfeed are you going to watch?

But I digress. Oh yes, the information metro.

The nightly barrage of NVG (no-one’s reading it anyway Ed so I don’t need to elaborate) film from those plucky guys in their $100 Million starships doing the same in a coastal enclave as what one bulldozer achieved yesterday to my old building. That’s fine if your target audience is 4^th form Nabatean schoolboys “My dad blew up a bigger building than your dad” but is that really what the Israeli public and the others who hate us need to see? How about learning from a conflict that was actually won: “I counted them all out and I counted them all back” – dear, dear Brian. I myself could be sent to, “an airbase in the centre of the country” coz nobody has Googlemaps,  and give the world all they need to know. Massive destruction of baby-milk (sic) factories is hardly good propaganda. The Israeli public has the attention span of an Israeli journalist – ie anyone with an I-phone 7 – so don’t let the officials say anything informative; Israelis always know someone who knows better anyway, so keep it simple. Let the opposition make wild claims which the world will forget if we stop being Israelis – and keep our mouths shut.

Their girl again, no friend of Bibi (facebook image)

Talking of keeping one’s mouth shut and specifically, the recent Instafacetikbookgram repartee between our Prime Minister (check sp, Ed) and one of his biggest fans (and google her if you don’t believe me, you’ll need to go “right click” then search for “Arab star Mia Khalifa”). How they got it together I can’t imagine, but apparently they are no longer friends. And even here, we are falling so far behind. Our old friends the IDF Spokesthingywhatsit keep posting pictures of men with their faces pixcelled out and pretty girls in combat fatigues. Oh come on, you can’t see the guys faces in Mia’s vids either – so I’m told – and its fatigue from combat rather than combat fatigues that’s getting the Arab world’s attention. There must be a Jewish lady somewhere who can give Mia a run for her money (OK, so she only has to “feel” Jewish so as not to upset certain sectors of society).

A wise man once said “fighting for peace is like being very friendly with a lady for virginity” (OK in Tel Aviv things they may say it differently). Operation Instantly Forgettable? Why not “Operation Lets Teach the Bu**ers a Lesson they’ll never forget” or something similarly non-politically correct seeing as we’re going to be castigated anyway. Who thinks of these names, do the IDF have a full time team of reservists? Or is it an elite unit? Do we need a war every so often to keep these guys in work? The Americans can teach us a thing or two here “The Tet offensive”, short, sharp, to the point (not like Mia’s co-stars), Hastings, Waterloo, Gaza its not hard (just don’t say it, Ed) to say what you want to say and leave nobody in any doubt. We knew we were right but after the fog of war, many of us are not so sure. We need our Spokespeople (first of all to give themselves a catchier name) to give  a clear, concise message and not to speak with a forked tongue and not air their dirty laundry in public, like our politicians.