Grief and remembrance for a life of 21 years

As the country approaches Remembrance Day, I already feel like a veteran as a bereaved father. I have lived in Israel for 35 years and this is the second Remembrance Day that I will experience as a bereaved father. Before, I always sat up through the night and watched the films especially made for Remembrance Day telling the stories of the fallen soldiers. I felt that it was my duty to do so, to remember those who sacrificed everything so that Israel can continue to exist. Since becoming a bereaved father on January 2, 2024, I can now fully appreciate the trauma of the families who have lost their loved ones.

I made Aliyah to Israel in 1989 – a dream that I had focused on since 1973. I grew up in Luton, England, which is an industrial town about half an hour from London. A small community of Jews in its hundreds lived there, not a particularly orthodox community, but proud of being Jewish. When I was six years old, I saw a drawing chalked outside my front gate. It was a swastika, and underneath was written “Nazis kill Jews and so do we”. I asked my mother what it meant. She explained what it meant to me and I started reading about Jews and Judaism, the Holocaust and Israel.

In 1973 I saw The Yom Kippur War on television and at the age of eight decided that I would make Aliyah to Israel. I wanted to come to Israel at the age of eighteen, but my parents insisted that I study first. The place that I studied at had many foreign students, particularly from the Middle East. At the Freshers’ Fair, the walls were covered with pictures of the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps in Lebanon. I was marked out as a Zionist and threatened with being murdered. I did not finish my studies there.

In 1987, I came to Israel on a year-long program called Shnat Sherut – A Year of Service. I decided that I would make Aliyah the following year. In 1989 I studied Hebrew at Ulpan Etzion in Jerusalem and later was accepted to The Hebrew University. I obtained a degree there and moved to Tel Aviv in 1994. I met my wife Dina there and we married in 1998. We moved to Petach Tikva in 1999 and made our home there.

Our only child Meiron Moshe was born in October 2002. Having an only child was not our plan, but that was our reality.

Meiron was an intelligent and curious child, always trying to figure out how things worked. He grew up with a great sense of derech eretz – the right way. The neighbors remember him as a child of 5 running up to them and asking if he could help carry their shopping. Meiron always showed a willingness to help others. He also had great loyalty to friends.

Meiron was only 21 when he fell. I believe he must have had a purpose in this world, and I believe that was to defend the people of Israel. In second grade, he came home from school and told us that they had learnt about the heroism of Roiee Klein, an officer in the Golani Brigade, a married father, who jumped on a grenade shouting “Shema Yisrael” to save his soldiers. Meiron declared that when he got older, he would be a soldier and that he would also jump on a grenade to save his soldiers if need be. He was fascinated by stories of soldiers and always stood at attention and saluted when he saw soldiers in ceremonies on television.

From the age of 14, he embarked on a journey to make himself fit for an elite unit. He ran, rode his bicycle and swam. From the age of 16, he participated for two years in a combat fitness course specially designed for those hoping to enlist in the naval commandos. He reached peak fitness. When Meiron saw a report in a newspaper on elite units, he declared that the missions that he would participate in would not be allowed to be reported on. For Meiron, the important element was the missions and not that he participated in them.

When Meiron received his initial profile for the army, it was not high enough for a combat unit. He decided to fight, and for eight months, he went through committee after committee until his profile was raised to enable him to join a combat unit. The army told him that he could compete for a position in any combat unit except for the Navy Commandos. Meiron was disappointed, but he was determined to join an elite unit. He passed the selection for an elite unit and passed the selection for Sayeret Matkal. He was offered a chance to join the Yahalom unit (which in Hebrew means diamond), which is the special operations unit of the Combat Engineers, a very prestigious unit.

Meiron had one further obstacle to overcome to join a combat unit. He needed his parents’ permission, as he was an only child. Meiron argued that he did not choose to be an only child and would like to be given the same chance to defend his people and country as other people. He further stated that when he was young, he saw soldiers defending him, and now it was his turn, and he could not stand aside. Reluctantly, we gave our permission and allowed Meiron to fulfill his dream.

Meiron was selected for the team that specializes in tunnel warfare. He excelled in the unit and had many important functions. He became an expert in tunnel warfare and introduced improvements to tactics and equipment. We were told that the State of Israel owes a great debt to Meiron for his army service. On the 7th of October, 2023, Meiron and three friends from the unit were on vacation in the Arava. They were immediately told to report for duty as an elite unit. They raced to their base, which was very close to the road to Sderot and was swarming with terrorists. They managed to reach the base, equip themselves and set out for the front lines. They fought terrorists wherever they found them until eventually they took part in the recapture of the Erez Crossing and Erez Base. They rescued 23 soldiers, as well as the bodies of civilians and soldiers. They took part in the initial maneuvers and later were attached to infantry units because of their specialization in tunnel warfare. They retrieved the bodies of hostages and mapped the tunnels under the Shifa hospital.

On 2.1.24 the army received intelligence that hostages were being held in a tunnel in Darj Tuffah. Meiron was sent to investigate. As he helped to unload a small drone to be sent into the tunnel, he was shot in the heart by a sniper. Despite the quick arrival of a medical team and the subsequent evacuation under fire, they were unable to save him.

At around six o’clock in the evening on 2.1.24 there was a knock at the door. My wife called me to come to the lounge for a minute. I saw three officers standing in the hall. I prayed silently to myself, “tell me we can visit him in the hospital”, however they asked me to sit down and brought me a cup of water. I knew the worst had happened. “We are sorry to inform you that your son Meiron Moshe Gersch fell today in battle in Gaza.” My whole world collapsed in a moment.

We started notifying relatives and friends. We posted notices at our synagogue and at his Yeshiva. We also notified the local fire brigade station where Meiron had volunteered for four years, eventually acting as a regular fireman until he enlisted.

The funeral was fixed for the next day. There was a lot of sympathy and interest. Around 5,000 people attended the funeral. Already on the morning of the funeral, Meiron’s Rosh Yeshiva came to our house and showed us WhatsApp messages that Meiron had sent him years before. The Rosh Yeshiva had a very positive impression of Meiron. At the funeral, we were to learn a great deal more about Meiron. Speaker after speaker told us new things about Meiron. For example, the representative from the fire brigade told us that tens of people owed their lives to Meiron for his actions as a volunteer fireman. Meiron never told us that he had saved lives. His unit’s motto is “Bravery and Humility”. I believe that motto truly defines Meiron.

We learnt that Meiron and his team saved 23 soldiers on 7.10. We learnt that he participated in many missions with the most elite units that we will never know about. I told the attendees that I admired Meiron and now felt it was my duty to tell his story and make sure that he is remembered.

At the shiva, the representative of the City Council asked us if we needed a mourning tent to be erected. At first, we declined, but he insisted that it would be necessary. We agreed and the people came in the thousands to hear about Meiron. People came from as far as Nahariya in the North to Ofakim in the South. Someone came from Sderot and prostrated himself in front of me and said thank you for your sacrifice so that my children can live safely in their home. The day after the funeral, a man walked into the mourning tent pulling a suitcase. He said he heard about Meiron the night before and had taken the first flight from New York to come and console us. A delegation arrived from New York with people bringing letters from children at Jewish schools. People waited patiently in line for two hours to hear about the only child who insisted on serving his country in an elite unit. Educators brought many classes to hear about Meiron and his determination to achieve his dream. We really felt the support of the people, the local community, the people from the synagogue, and the schools that Meiron attended. We felt the big heart that the people of Israel show in times of adversity.

A local youth group, Ezra, has adopted us, and my wife goes to most of their activities. They come to visit us every Friday before Shabbat. They have painted Meiron’s picture on the clubhouse wall with a favorite saying of his: ” There is no can’t, change the way you think, struggle and achieve the goal”. They wear T-shirts with his picture on the front and the saying on the back.

I have kept my promise to Meiron. My wife and I told his story at schools, Yeshivot, Ulpanot, and synagogues and in front of youth groups. We spoke at official ceremonies. A radio host and singer promised a Sefer Torah in his memory. We had a dedication ceremony at the local synagogue and the people who donated the Sefer Torah requested that it be placed at Beit Chabad in Rome. I went to Rome for the dedication ceremony there. Now visitors from all over the world can hear about Meiron.

We had a reading of Megillat Esther in a community center in our neighborhood at Purim. I spoke about Meiron at the beginning. After the reading of the Megilla, a young married mother approached us and told us that she was one of the medical team who treated Meiron in the field. She gave us the name of the doctor in the team, and he came to visit us. He is a father of six and said that he is willing to risk himself for soldiers such as Meiron.

The local council has been very supportive of the many families of soldiers and civilians in Petach Tikva who lost their lives in the war. I asked for a small park in my street to be named in Meiron’s name and the request was carried out promptly, with an official remembrance plate telling his story. Officials from the local council have come to every event in Meiron’s memory.

Years ago, one of his educators asked Meiron what he was aiming for in the future. Meiron answered as high as you can go and beyond the horizon. I believe that Meiron achieved those aims. How can you appreciate the value of a life story of just 21 years? It is not the length of a life that is important, but the content. Meiron experienced many life events that others will never achieve. He saved many lives and experienced the camaraderie of the battlefield. My wife and I will continue to speak about Meiron and hope that his story can continue to inspire people to achieve their dreams.