Handy tips for driving in Israel

It is that time of the year when I have to share Roro’s Handy Driving Tips for Israeli Drivers. Driving in Israel is an adrenaline sport – like shark cage diving or competing in one of those survival shows on TV where spiders crawl all over you. You need to hit the roads here with a lot of courage. I thought I would share some of my handy tips – with a dose of levity.

1) Please ensure you are fully conscious before getting behind the wheel of your car. Not semi-conscious, not sleep driving – CONSCIOUS. It really helps.

2) In my experience, pedestrians REALLY appreciate it when you stop at the crossings so they can walk. They object to being injured or dead.

3) Those things next to your steering wheel are called indicators/flickerim. They are not optional extras or steering wheel whiskers – they are handy in letting people know if you are turning or changing lanes. Shocker!

4) The planes painted on the highway are directions to the airport and NOT an invitation for you to pretend you are an F16 – we have the best Air Force in the world who are more than up to the mission! Shout out to the IAF!

5) Should you wander into my lane, note this: I am not Harry Potter, my car does not come with an invisibility cloak!

6) The gym parking lot is not a Formula 1 track.

7) The mall parking lot is not a Formula 1 track.

8) The supermarket parking lot is not a Formula 1 track.

9) Any parking lot is not a Formula 1 track!!

10) Paint on my car is not an optional extra – so to the person in the white car who scraped my bumper several weeks ago, I still hold a grudge.

11) Please try park in the lines – this is not the optimal time to show how creative you are by parking outside the lines – it is rude and inconsiderate – parking is a rarity in Israel so be respectful.

12) Please don’t drive right on top of me – you have not bought me dinner or a movie and I am very happily married. Shout out to The Hubby.

13) Ladies, I know we can rock multitasking – but please don’t drive and draw your brows on – you will only spend the rest of your day looking perplexed. I am just being helpful.

14) Why are you driving on the highway, zig-zagging between the cars like you are running from the law? Are you?