Happy Independence Day to me

Full disclosure, I was not sure what to write about in today’s article, and then, Thursday night while having friends over, it hit me. I wanted to talk to you about what independence means when you move to Israel and go through a tedious and long partner visa process.

I came to Israel in 2017 to do my masters, it was a one year long experience and then I would get back to Peru to continue with my life, until I met my husband 6 months before my returning date. He changed my life, and I like to believe I changed his as well. Anyway, I did go back home for 2 years, paid off my student loans, continued building my career and strengthening my friendships and family ties.

In 2020, in the middle of the pandemia, we decided to tie our lives forever and to start building our legacy in Israel. Little did I know my life would sort of take a step back in many aspects. I considered myself very successful and steady. I had a great job working for the Peruvian government and as a side job I was teaching and researching in 2 local universities. I had best friends who I would hang out with regularly, I had my people in the market, I had contacts for many things you could think of. I would do my own bureaucratic procedures like going to the bank, to the hospital, etc all by myself. I was a very independent woman in the whole meaning of the word.

And then the partner visa came into my life and took all of that away from me. For over 6 months I did not have an ID, most jobs wouldn’t hire me because they didn’t understand my visa status, I needed my husband for absolutely everything: bank, hospital, even groceries. It was awful, I cried a lot, I suffered a lot. I missed the old Ana, I still do sometimes. She is somewhere there, claiming back her space.

But back to last Thursday night. In 3 months I will be living in Israel for 4 years, and my lifestyle has improved a lot. Today, 28th, is Peru’s Independence Day, and because here in Israel it is a regular day, I chose last Thursday to do a little celebration at home. I spent most of that day working remotely and cooking, preparing to bring a bit of Peru’s cuisine to my little corner of Jerusalem.

When I do gatherings at home, I get very excited. I get to see how all the little worlds I am building connect within each other. My husband’s friends. My friends from work. Some Mixed Neshamot (if you don’t know what this means, check out here). Friends from university. Friends life has given me throughout these past 4 years. I enjoyed making the introductions, finding that what they all have in common is me, a little Peruvian that took a (big) leap of faith and moved to Israel to be with her man.

one of the gathering guests and a good friend of mine 🙂

S., one of the guests and husband of a Mixed Neshama like me, casually asked me if I felt independent. He was making some sort of joke related to Peru’s Independence Day but because I over analyze everything in life I went deep with the answer and said: maybe, but not always.

As a Peruvian, do I feel independent? I mean, the Spaniards are no longer ruling my land, but now we have modern tyrans controlling my government. It is hard to feel Peru is truly enjoying its freedom when we are constantly hostages of terrible leaders and a society that is so corrupted, it gets scarier every day that passes by. But hey, we have great food, history, music, and people doing the best they can.

As a migrant woman living in Israel, do I feel independent? As a woman, yes, I feel safe, I feel that I can trust my surroundings and don’t have to be looking over my shoulders when I walk home alone at night.

As a migrant? Debatible. I had to start my career pretty much from scratch, for over a year I did not have a friend that I could call just to go get a coffee on a Friday morning, I was alone. I depended on my husband and his friends and/or family to have meaningful human interactions, to survive in the Holy Land.

I remember I couldn’t even be a freelancer without my husband vouching for me by signing  some documents. I had to hire an accountant and even got a fine from Bituach Leumi. All of that because this country is not built for people like me to live here. The partner visa took away much of my independence and while I am gaining it back, I am building up my resilience.

Sometimes it is very tiring, like it is draining my soul away. But then I look at my amazing husband, who through me is learning what it means to be a migrant in Israel. I look at the life we are both building, cry my frustration away, lift my head and just keep swimming, like Dory in Finding Nemo.

I am, in some ways, a very typical latina. I want everyone to be well fed, to feel home, to take food home, to let me know they arrived safely to their destination to share their struggles with me so I can help somehow, to get involved in their lives because I want them in mine, too. Every time I do a little gathering at home, I feel more at home. Seeing all my people meeting my people makes my heart warm. Knowing that a bit of my Peruvianness is passing onto them with food and drinks is what I call claiming my independence, my heritage, myself.

So Happy Peruvian Day for me, that I crossed almost 13 kilometers from Peru to Israel to gain independence, again.