Hatred more than skin deep
This is not a happy story; it has a sad beginning and a sad end. No one was physically hurt, though the emotional pain lives on.
I was talking recently with a close friend of mine of whether he had lost many friends following 7 October. I can say that any friends who I might have lost disappeared 12 years ago during Operation Protective Edge in 2014. For my friend though, this was not about him it was about his son David.
David is a very bright young man and was studying at a prestigious university in the UK. David is Jewish. One of the members of his friend group was a fellow student called Iqbal. A Muslim man. Iqbal is fiercely intelligent and in sometime in 2022 or 2023 Iqbal had a problem. He had known for a while that he was gay and whilst his student friends knew this, his family didn’t. Iqbal finally plucked up the courage to tell his family, with disastrous results. They disowned him.
His parents and other members of his family just cut him off. No discussion, no empathy, just nothing. No more communication. It was a devasting time for Iqbal and David was there for him. Giving him support, telling him he was a good person and that the response of his family was about them and not about Iqbal. David’s encouragement when Iqbal was at a very serious low made a significant difference to Iqbal when he really needed that input. He also helped him financially by buying him food and drink when Iqbal could not afford it.
Then 7 October happened and it all fell apart. A little while after the murderous attacks, David could see Iqbal posting on social media comments about the attacks, or rather the Israeli response. These were nasty comments; in fact they were dreadful. Iqbal talked about Israeli atrocities, genocide and the evils of the Zionist regime. Standard stuff as we all know, but wholly unexpected given the previous bond between them. David is straight, there was no relationship between them other than that of friendship. Once David had got over the initial shock he tried to engage with Iqbal. It was a futile exercise. Iqbal would just not respond other than to double down on the lies being peddled by the Jew haters on social media. However much David tried, it was a waste of effort and eventually he gave up.
What struck me about this was that despite all the hurt from his family, all the support from David, Iqbal still chose the route of hating Jews when the time came. It was as if anti-Semitism was ingrained in his DNA, and that he had to follow that path. Forget the isolation from his family, forget the kindness from another human being who was Jewish, hating Jews just came naturally. I don’t know where Iqbal comes from, whether it is Pakistan or elsewhere. I do know that his response tells us a great deal about one of the world’s longest hatreds. It is that it is irrational, unpredictable and above all, for many it lies below the surface just waiting to emerge.
All the talk about interfaith with the Muslim community is all very well, but can only really take place once the issue of Israel and Zionism is out in the open. Either we are entitled to self determination or not, and if not then there is no point in going any further. For too long attempts at interfaith with Muslim groups have failed because no-one has been prepared to address this issue. Unless it is addressed, then there is every possibility that the attempt at engagement will fail.
My message to David is do not stop helping people. Just bear in mind, that when it comes to hating us, it is a thin line that very many of those who we thought of as our friends are happy to cross. Be upset by all means, but not surprised.