Her Soul Resides Beyond Nature

The 25th of Nissan, כ״ה ניסן, will be the 8th yahrzeit of my daughter, Batsheva Chaya Stadlan z”l. It is so difficult to acknowledge that so much time has passed as her loss is still so very tangible though not as hard edged as was when she died.

Often when I think of her, it is a memory of how she embraced life. My family and I are in Israel for the chag this year where Batsheva spent the last months of her life. There are corners and cafes that I can see her enjoying her meal along with us or joking with her siblings while walking through the streets of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. But these eight years later, I now mostly imagine Batsheva in a place beyond nature and the physical world.

The number eight in our tradition is significant in that it symbolizes perfection beyond tangible reality. Whereas the number seven indicates the order of creation and the natural world as there were seven days of creation, eight is the metaphysical number which lets us as humans perfect their spiritual relationship with God. While we have opportunities in this world to have that ‘eight’ experience – circumcising a baby boy on the eighth day of its life, celebrating Shemini Atzeret after seven days of Sukkot and Shavuot after seven weeks of seven days- the true encounter with HaMakom , that ultimate place beyond reality, occurs in the next world after this life or the world’s next life after the arrival of Mashiach. It is a time when all the physical and material will be perfected as the Gemara in Arakhin 13b states that the harp in the Temple, the Beit HaMikdash, had seven strings but-

ושל ימות המשיח שמונה…

in the days of the Messiah- when even musical instruments will be perfected- it will have eight strings.

When we sat for seven days of shiva for my daughter, mourners left by reciting the traditional saying:

המקום ינחם אתכם… May The Place comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

At that time, I didn’t comprehend the idea of HaMakom, The Place as being anymore than name of God that described His omnipresence. But as I remember getting up from shiva, on that particular eighth day, I see now that these parting words to me were really meant to let me know that my daughter was now part of that Place as her relationship to God was now perfected. Batsheva’s body and soul – after suffering for so long- were now perfect as well. It was also said to give me hope that my world would hopefully become as ideal as her new reality and our relationship could be renewed. But until that time, I still could work on improving my love and closeness to my daughter and demonstrate my faith that HaMakom will come to bring us all together in a new reality.

And perhaps that is the real message of eight. While we have a chance to connect with God at specific  ‘8’ moments of the year, we also have the opportunity to work to truly connect with our loved ones every day. As we read in the Haftarah from Malachi (3:24) on Shabbat HaGadol, the precursor to bringing Mashiach, the Messiah, is perfecting relationships between parents and children.

והשיב לב אבות על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם…

He shall reconcile parents with their children and children with their parents…

Although I cannot truly comprehend Batsheva’s current existence, I believe she, her essence and her soul are experiencing the ultimate metaphysical of God’s close and embracing presence. I know that I don’t have to wait to be with her in the next life to continue my love for her but I can dream of the time in the next world when our relationship will be absolutely perfect.