Holding Back
Recently, I responded innocently to a another Facebook comment about Haredim and service in the IDF, saying briefly that I disagree with his points due to the complexity of the issue.
[Notice how it does and should not even matter what “side” I was arguing for].
This individual (who posted the original comment) that I have never met instantly attacked me on an ad-hominem basis, calling me names, denigrating my Facebook photo and personal information, defaming my character and saying I was a “fake Jew” who had no reason to participate in this discussion.
I have no issues with strong disagreement about these issues, but personal attacks are quite beyond the pale. They completely dilute the arguments being made.
The Talmud (Shabbat 88b) lauds someone who “faces defamation but does not respond – remains silent in spite of an insult” as being beloved by Gd for their self-control. And so, I did not engage back or take the “rage-bait” – as the kids say these days. I simply said “OK”, to all of his raging screed.
I enjoy respectful dialogue and discussion; I do not like passionate confrontation.
I thank my interlocutor for giving me the opportunity to fulfill this Talmudic dictum. It was not easy but I did it.
But perhaps next time he will reconsider giving others the chance to do the same.