Hospitals and Hospitality: Parshat Vayerah

SKY OVER KISSUFIM VILLAGE IN OMER. PERMISSION OF AUTHOR

On Shabbat, I decided that this week I would explore the topic of blind faith and following unfair orders in my blog. Two members of my modern midrash group sent me two fabulous posts which called into question the unfairness of the Akedah–one by Woody Allen and another by a Quaker woman. It is a topic to which I have given much thought over the years. On Monday evening, in my class on Exodus, we discussed God’s unfairness is setting up the Egyptians to be drowned in the Reed Sea, by having the traumatized Israelites turn back from the direct passage to the Land of Israel, and having them up end up between Migdol and the sea.

God said to Moses: Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp before Pi-hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, before Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea. Pharaoh will say of the Israelites, “They are astray in the land; the wilderness has closed in on them.” Then I will stiffen Pharaoh’s heart and he will pursue them, that I may gain glory through Pharaoh and all his host; and the Egyptians shall know that I am יהוה. And they did so (Exodus 14:1-4).

GUNSHOTS AND TRAUMA

I pointed out to my group that the whole purpose of their being turned back was so that God would look good, however, in the process he was retraumatizing His own people. Sounds like some leaders we know! To make this point I gave the example of what is going on in my own town of Omer, where the Bedouin in the neighboring town of Tel Sheva, nightly shoot guns at each other or in the air in a Wild West sort of atmosphere, terrifying those who have their sleep disturbed and who imagine all sorts of horrible things. It so happens that the street on which we live seems “blessed” for some reason and we do not hear the nightly noise of gun shots. What I did not know is that the people from Kissufim who have temporarily relocated to Omer, about whom I wrote two weeks ago, are being retraumatized by these nightly terrors. When I saw my friend in our synagogue, she said, “how could they bring us to a place like this, where we are nightly exposed to gunshots, after all we have gone through?” She was inadvertently echoing what the Israelites said to Moses as Pharaoh and the Egyptians advanced on them:

“Was it for want of graves in Egypt that you brought us to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us, taking us out of Egypt?”

My original plan was to discuss God’s unfairness in asking Abraham to kick out Ishmael and to test him by telling him to sacrifice Isaac. However, life often gets in the way of our plans and this week I was “tested” by having to visit the hospital in Beersheba with my husband woke up with chest pains. [Spoiler alert! He’s fine and we came back home in the late afternoon].

HOSPITALS AND HOSPITALITY

Parshat Vayera begins with Abraham and Sarah’s hospitality to the three messengers of God, when he is still recuperating from his circumcision in the last parsha (Gen 17:23-27). Abraham is sitting at the entrance of his tent on a very hot day. Looking up, he sees three figures standing near him. When he sees them, he runs from the entrance of the tent to greet them, bowing to the ground. He insists that they stop and visit with him: He said, “My lords! If it please you, do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought; bathe your feet and recline under the tree. And let me fetch a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves; then go on—seeing that you have come your servant’s way.” They replied, “Do as you have said.” Abraham runs quickly into the tent to Sarah, and orders her to make cakes from the best flour she has in her larder: “Quick, three seahs of choice flour! Knead and make cakes!” Then full of energy, he runs out to the fields where his sheep and cattle are and picks out a tender choice calf, and gives it to one of his lads, who butchers it and prepares it for cooking. Once this is done, Abraham serves the calf together with milk and curds and waits on them until they are finished eating.

Abraham’s hospitality is full-hearted. He sees these three “people” in the desert and in true Mediterranean fashion offers them first water, then washes their feet and finally offers them “a morsel of bread” –an understatement for what is actually a full-fledged feast. He makes sure that the food they eat is nothing but the best and like a good host, is present while they eat, so if they need something he can easily get it for them. He puts himself out for these strangers and expects nothing in return. Fortunately, Abraham has his loyal kitchen staff, his behind-the-scenes wife and a servant boy (and perhaps even more who are not mentioned) to follow his orders and presumably wash the dishes, pots and pans, after they leave.

In contrast, my aging husband (not quite as old as Abraham) could barely move and asked for a wheelchair when we left the hospital, whereas old man Abe jumped up, ran to greet the messengers, went quickly into his tent to give orders to his wife and servants to prepare a feast. One wonders at Abraham’s super human strength while recovering from his ordeal. In our case, in the morning, before the heat of the day, I took my husband who had chest pains to our local Kupat Holim clinic. The nurse immediately got into action: gave him an electrocardiogram (EKG) took his vitals and then called the doctor. They treated this all very seriously and insisted that they call an ambulance. When I asked was all this necessary, they said they had to do a blood test that can only be done in the hospital to determine if he had (or was having) a heart attack. So, we both got to ride in an ambulance.

OUR ABRAHAMS

Since all three of my children happen to be out of the country—in fact my daughter was in transit at the time to NYC– I informed the gang, my immediate friends, on WhatsApp  of what was happening–just in case! I even sent them a picture from Kupat Holim with the people from the ambulance.

THE PATIENT WITH THE STAFF AND AMBULANCE PARAMEDICS Permission of author

Lo and behold, when we got to the ER, one of our closest friends was waiting there. To be greeted by a close friend, a familiar face, in a somewhat confusing situation, was an amazing and unexpected act of kindness, a form of hospitality. And our friend is no spring chicken, yet he went back and forth helping and interceding, when necessary. I thought of Abraham, who gave unstintingly to the messengers, just wanting to be of service. The gracious acts continued, when another friend, this time a doctor, joined us and relieved the first friend. We got more practical physical help and moral support. My husband was smiling throughout because of our friend’s presence, as you can see from the picture he took.

THE PATIENT SMILING FOR THE CAMERA IN THE ER AT SOROKA HOSPITAL. Permission from author.

When the time came to make a decision, to be admitted overnight to the hospital, having a doctor friend with us, made it much easier to refuse and go home. Of course, my husband had to sign a waiver, making it clear that it was his decision, against the attending hospital doctor’s recommendation. The timing of all this, when all three of my adult children are out of the country was not great.  However, my oldest two grandchildren are in the country and were on call, so we did have family.  The next day they drove down from the North to check up on us. But having two of our closest friends show up, unasked, at the hospital was an act of kindness and support. It was a form of hospitality at the best at the hospital.

Even though I did not get to discuss the unfairness of God’s demand of ultimate loyalty from Abraham and testing him, there will be many opportunities to do so in the future. This time around, I just wanted to focus on friendship, kindness and hospitality. And even though it is never a picnic to spend all day waiting around in an ER, the time passed quickly because we had our two Abrahams looking after us.

Shabbat shalom