It has been a while since I last posted but so much has changed since May. No matter how many times I have tried to write my thoughts but words on a screen isn’t good enough to express my thoughts. Never could I have imagined a world like this. I hate seeing people dying, people losing their jobs, and the world becoming more and more divided. However, I am happy this has happened.
Now as I stated above I am not happy about the tragedies but for all the good that has come out of this. I’m being very vulnerable when I said this but at the beginning of quarantine, it was difficult for me. Now I never expected quarantine to last this long, but I thought that I may as well grow from this and become the best version of myself I could be. This wasn’t easy, I had a lot to overcome and still some things I have to figure out. One thing I have learned is I am not weak! No one reading this is weak! I have cried, had panic attacks, been upset multiple days but guess what? This is completely normal. Which leads me to more things I’ve learned.
I realized how bad Instagram was for me! I guess I’m officially crazy because there was a time where I thought those that didn’t have Instagram were crazy. I was so sick of seeing the negativity pop into my feed and how divided people were becoming. Now not all people on Instagram are like this at all! There are a lot of wonderful, authentic people but there are also a lot of people who aren’t. I have so much going on in my life (a story for another day) so why do I need this stress? I didn’t do this because of one person but because I wanted to see if I felt different. At first, it was difficult but now it feels great. I will pop on once in a while to see updates but it’s gone from my phone.
I stayed on Facebook because of all the wonderful groups (shoutout to the lovely people I’ve met and reconnected with) that were created. There was a zoom call for fellow Ba’al Teshuvah and it was the best chance I took. I found people I click with and through Facebook, I found so many cool people. I don’t go on Facebook much either (due to politics and school) but to see things from those I love is worth it. Seeing friends of mine get engaged, married, and starting families is something that Corona can’t stop. Corona can’t stop love and feelings although it could be difficult to be vulnerable.
Quarantine can’t last forever and it stinks but, the world can’t go on like this. That would be a tragic ending to so many amazing people(including you). I see good things happening in the future and I hope that one day this horror film/black mirror episode we are in ends soon. Stay safe and have hope.