How to Create Your New Year Vision for Your Relationship

Credit: Jonathan Leppan, Unsplash

It’s a great idea to enter the new year with a vision for your life and for your relationship. Dreaming about a better future and looking forward will transport you from a fixed place of frustration to an optimistic place that anything is possible.  It’s inspiring to aspire!

 Here’s your challenge: take a look at your significant relationship and create a new vision for this new year. Describe in words your dream for how you’d like your relationship to look during this year and by this time next year.

 How will you start to create your vision?

 Ideally, the steps below are done by both partners, first separately and then together.

 Step 1 Warm-up. Set aside some quiet time for yourself (put on music if you like) and consider these questions for reflection:

  •  When were some of the times you and your partner felt happiest together?
  • What did you feel in those moments?
  • What did you notice about your partner during those good times?
  • What have you created and succeeded at together?
  • What would you feel sorry about if it doesn’t happen in your relationship?
  • Which couples are models for you? (They could be people you know, famous, or fictional characters.)
  • What moves you in your relationship?
  • What do you do together that fills you with energy?
  • What does your partner love about you?
  • What’s most important to you that your relationship will be?
  • If you had unlimited money, what would you do together?
  • As a couple, what do you bring to the world?
  • What do you want your children, family, and friends to remember about you as a couple?

 Make some notes in response to these questions. Take your time, you could do this over a couple of days. These reflections are the background for your vision for your relationship.

 Step 2 Create your vision. When you’re ready for the next step – write your dream for your relationship for the new year.  You can start wherever you like and create a list or write a narrative.  Here are a few prompts to get you going:

  • The atmosphere in our home will be…
  • We’ll spend time as two of us…
  • When one of us is having a hard time…
  • I’ll do my best not to make a big deal of…
  • I’ll appreciate and say thanks …
  • I’m excited about…
  • I want to be more…
  • As parents, we will…
  • I’ll feel loved…
  • We’ll have fun…
  • We’ll take more time…
  • We’ll share our deepest…

 Step 3 Create a shared relationship vision with your partner. Read your two versions to each other, allowing as much time as you need for each one to listen to the other. Join your two lists or narratives together to make one new shared vision that you’re both committed to and excited about.

Once you have a clear picture of where you want to go, your vision will be a guide for your larger and smaller goals for the new year. The dreams you put on the horizon will motivate and inspire you. Why not give it a try? 

About the Author
Judy Markose is a Relationship and Life Coach, living in Jerusalem. Over three decades, she worked at Ramah and Pardes as director of educator training programs, summer camp and teen Israel journeys. She brings a unique vision to coaching - weaving social work, education and therapy along with her passion for marriage and family and an idealistic belief that transformation is possible at any stage of life.
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