How to help your memory?

This week, the Torah again tells us to remember

Dozens of times, the Torah orders us to remember, never to forget. Some learn better by hearing, others by seeing or reading, or combinations. But it’s not that some people were given a good memory and others were not. There is a lot we can do to improve. That I give so many recommendations doesn’t mean it’s Mission impossible. The more we do, the better.

Forty-six ideas, in no particular order, telling you to give a high priority to integrity, to treat your body well, and to learn with a fresh attitude.

1. Get yourself honest parents and make sure never to lie. No ‘innocent’ white lies, half-truths, or, ‘But we all lie at times.’ If you must lie, e.g., to keep a secret or save a life, lie as little as possible (or change the subject), and then highlight in your brain that you did something remarkable here. Most people remember by telling themselves what occurred. Habitual lying does more than overburden your brain with stories that never happened. Can you remember a thing when words lose all meaning (black is white, up is down)? (Dyslexics often have a poor memory.) I don’t know how a photographic memory works. Consistently acting honestly builds a habit, character, and track record of integrity. (Be reliable, including with your spouse and kids, and you’ll see, honesty is closeness.)

2. Be humble and delighted when others correct you. Don’t double-down or fortify lies with lies. Don’t always point out when opponents lie. Even people with excellent memories can forget or remember things wrong.

3. Whisper or write longhand or do both to remember.

4. Analyze and systematize all you learn. Make overviews and summaries. Look for the best possible comparisons. Decide what the essence is.

5. Acknowledge that the briefer, the more inaccurate a description is.

6. Prioritize fact and truth over opinion, taste, and comfort.

7. Don’t be jealous or greedy so that you won’t steal, not even a little, not from fear, and not because it’s wrong or bad, but because that’s not you.

8. When naïve, be a little paranoid; when paranoid, be a little naïve. Trust no one completely. Remember who said what and what their interests are.

9. Learn things that are clearly true or false with little gray.

10. Have a circle of honest friends who may inspire and argue.

11. Sleep enough. Yawn and sleep some more. Memorize stuff just before going to sleep. Narcotics, tranquilizers, and sedative-hypnotics (that ‘kill pain,’ calm you, and help you fall and stay ‘asleep’) disrupt your sleep.

12. Cry, laugh, shiver, yawn, and talk about things that confuse you.

13. Don’t use prescription or recreational drugs that are psychotropic.

14. Don’t use painkillers. Instead, cry, shiver, and yawn. Be happy.

15. When you put things down, always place them in their regular place(s). When you are in a strange location, always put everything in a certain place (corner, high, hanging, etc.). Use routines but without autopilot.

16. Focus. Don’t live on autopilot. Multi-process as little as possible.

17. Use mnemonics and make up stories that connect unrelated things.

18. When you can’t remember a word, say ten words that are not it.

19. Cry, be humble, and be happy enough to never get angry.

20. Almost everyone lies about sex or has a price for becoming dishonest. Dare to stand out, be different, and not follow the crowd in anything bad.

21. When debating, don’t just use arguments that suit you. Acknowledge when people or positions you dispute are partly right, not as a trick.

22. Don’t hold that your integrity entitles you to some amount of lying.

23. Don’t seek Martyrdom. If you need to be a whistleblower, try to find ways that will protect you against attacks.

24. Be precise in your words. Yes is yes, no is no, and pink is pink.

25. Repeat and repeat complicated or complex material, and learn by rote items that can’t be understood (though then, you can only recall the total). We retell and build on Jewish history in a yearly cycle to never forget.

26. Focus on noticing details. Details not noticed are details beyond recall.

27. Learn more than the minimum. The additional details connect the material and help you remember the minimum.

28. Use reminders, even with a good memory. Don’t underestimate your ability to forget even the important things (kids in the car) in a second, especially when in a hurry, tired, overburdened, or emotionally distracted. Set an alarm before you go do something that makes you forget the time.

29. We ‘can’t remember’ all of our hurts. Healing makes us remember.

30. Getting bored means you’re getting too much or too little information. So, you’d better slow down, speed up, or take a break (nap, walk).

31. Brainstorm. Just using traceable logic is like sitting in slow-moving traffic. Jump into a helicopter. Wherever it takes you is better than being stuck. After listening to intuition, use logic to see if any of it makes sense.

32. Don’t just passively listen, read, or think to understand or know things, but imagine that soon, you need to tell it over or teach it to others.

33. Read or listen to even a crappy text on your subject and notice the new, valuable thoughts you’re getting, often despite the stuff presented.

34. Acknowledge that the most elegant idea or theory is not always the most true or handy. The hardest idea to communicate may be the best.

35. Don’t say that you have a poor memory or that things are ‘impossible’ to remember. It’s destructive. Instead, work toward improvement.

36. Don’t stare at wrongly written words, trying to remember the correct spelling. First, correct the spelling, then ingrain what the words look like.

37. We say we ‘understand‘ things when they fit other things we know. So, try to grasp what you’re learning, rather than see loose, meaningless facts. Try to question what you’re learning so that you focus on its meaning.

38. Put what you need to memorize to music and sing it, or put a dance routine to reciting stuff, also to get it ingrained into other brain areas.

39. Play a tape, even in your sleep, with the stuff you want to memorize.

40. Ask others or tell each other what each remembers.

41. Be truthful, consistent, reliable, and predictable so that the people around you can remember and recall who you are.

42. Learn important things early in life (Proverbs 22:6). If you missed your chance (a bit), at least give your children and students a chance to fill their relatively empty memory banks with meaningful things.

43. The human brain cannot forget whatever it learned except through tissue death. It can heal mental distress so that memories are no longer painful. But the facts stay—even more memorably when the pain is gone. The question is, ‘Why don’t we remember something that’s in our brain?’

44. Don’t let others (or yourself) interrupt your train of thought. Ignore!

45. Judaism doesn’t want us to live in the past. Rather, stand in the present, look toward the future, but be firmly rooted in the past.

46. Last but not least: Ask why all the time. Why? It forces us to think, pay attention, notice details, recognize meaning, and exit the automatic pilot. Learn to live with unanswered riddles, but notice the answers that arrive.

* Thank G^d for the memory that helped me write this.

* Try to diminish the negative effects of having a good memory, like always remembering how, one time, you disliked yourself or others.

* Remember how terrible lying is. Big liars can never relax or trust anyone.

* Some people’s apparent lying comes from a poor memory, while frequent lying gives one a poor memory—a very vicious circle.

* Don’t use your honesty for destructive purposes, like embarrassing others, becoming arrogant, hurting people’s feelings, or forgetting principles like empathy, mildness, forgiveness, and being generous.

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