How To Lose The Women’s Vote

  1. Tell them the best form of birth control is an aspirin held firmly between the knees.
  2. Hold a congressional hearing on women’s health and reproduction and have only men testify on your opening panel.
  3. Oppose contraceptives to appease the Catholic Bishops and religious extremists by saying it’s really about religious freedom.  Ultra-Orthodox Jews have lined up with the Church, unlike most other Jews.
  4. Compete over who can be more anti-abortion than the next guy. Ban all abortions, no exceptions.
  5. Advocate sending doctors who perform abortions to jail.
  6. Declare that the only purpose of sexual intercourse is to make babies.
  7. Push personhood legislation declaring fertilized embryos are – from conception or in a test tube –human beings with full constitutional rights and you can go to jail for destroying them.
  8. Oppose funding for Planned Parenthood and breast cancer screening programs.
  9. Tell voters you want to get government out of their lives except for the bedroom.
  10. Push legislation in the Senate to allow any employer to deny women basic contraception coverage for any reason.
  11. Oppose expanding role of women in the armed forces because men might be too distracted by their “natural instinct” to protect women.
  12. Tell married women they belong at home and “radical feminists” have wrongly convinced them that careers and “professional accomplishments are the key to happiness.”
  13. Make these “family values” your issues and turn off the majority of Jewish voters.
  14. Send the children of your first wife to trash your second wife in order to defend your third wife.


About the Author
Douglas M. Bloomfield is a syndicated columnist, Washington lobbyist and consultant. He spent nine years as the legislative director and chief lobbyist for AIPAC.