How To Lose The Women’s Vote
- Tell them the best form of birth control is an aspirin held firmly between the knees.
- Hold a congressional hearing on women’s health and reproduction and have only men testify on your opening panel.
- Oppose contraceptives to appease the Catholic Bishops and religious extremists by saying it’s really about religious freedom. Ultra-Orthodox Jews have lined up with the Church, unlike most other Jews.
- Compete over who can be more anti-abortion than the next guy. Ban all abortions, no exceptions.
- Advocate sending doctors who perform abortions to jail.
- Declare that the only purpose of sexual intercourse is to make babies.
- Push personhood legislation declaring fertilized embryos are – from conception or in a test tube –human beings with full constitutional rights and you can go to jail for destroying them.
- Oppose funding for Planned Parenthood and breast cancer screening programs.
- Tell voters you want to get government out of their lives except for the bedroom.
- Push legislation in the Senate to allow any employer to deny women basic contraception coverage for any reason.
- Oppose expanding role of women in the armed forces because men might be too distracted by their “natural instinct” to protect women.
- Tell married women they belong at home and “radical feminists” have wrongly convinced them that careers and “professional accomplishments are the key to happiness.”
- Make these “family values” your issues and turn off the majority of Jewish voters.
- Send the children of your first wife to trash your second wife in order to defend your third wife.
Comments