Hunter, We Really Know Ye

Who is Hunter Biden?

Due to his abandoned laptop, the public really knows him. In fact, it has their fill of him. Hunter Biden is the Bud Light of presidential offspring.

He was named Robert Hunter Biden at birth but goes by the name Hunter. He seems to think it is more macho. He has videotaped himself exhibiting his guns and his genitals, engaging with prostitutes and snorting cocaine.

Hunter Biden, in short is a 53 year old aging out enfant terrible.

The one thing that most helped him sustain his vow to never grow up and take responsibility for his actions is the fact that Joe Biden is his father. Joe has been in public office for nearly fifty years, including as Senator from Delaware, home of the majority of the nation’s banking and credit card companies, Joe Biden has many very rich friends and they have helped him and Hunter enrich themselves from the beginning of Hunter’s working career.

As the years went by, Hunter evolved into the Biden family’s front man. Hunter managed to clear millions received from companies controlled by China, Romania, Russia, Ukraine, et al though numerous LLCs (limited liability companies) and bank accounts. What did Hunter do with a large share of the money he received? See above.

Now, Hunter is apparently living in the White House with his new choppers and hair transplants. He is wearing clothes for a change. As a matter of fact, he wore a tuxedo when he appeared at the State Dinner for Prime Minister Modi of India and glad-handed and flashed his caps at anyone willing to shake his hand. There were many. They know that re-election of Joe Biden means four more years of influence peddling.

Just in time for July 4th, Independence Day, cocaine was discovered in the White House. Accounts differ as to whether it was found in the West Wing or the library. Focus was immediately directed to Hunter Biden.

Here are some proposals if Hunter is going to remain in the White House,

-the Secret Service should get some drug sniffing dogs.
-Bolt down anything of value, especially the Gilbert Stuarts. Check out local pawn shots if things start disappearing.
-Inspect all Door Dash deliveries
-Load up on NARCAN
-Train the staff in CPR

But you knew that.