I will not let my eyes grow accustomed to the darkness

Dear family and friends,

There was a terrorist attack in Jerusalem this morning right around the time the sun was bright enough to turn the sky blue.

And here’s what happened: Four men were shot and hacked to death in the middle of the Amidah prayer while praying for “God to grant peace everywhere.”

26 children have had their fathers stolen from them.

A brave officer, first on the scene, is fighting for his life.

Oh God, I cannot move my lips around the words “blessed is the true judge” while bile rises in my throat.

Yes, I am safe right now. I’m miles and miles away with the kids on the kibbutz.

We’re about to eat ice cream — strawberry — because, what else can we do right now?

So yes, I am safe.

And no, I am not OK.

But I will not let my eyes grow accustomed to this darkness.

I will eat ice cream with my kids.

We will blow bubbles as the sun sets.

(I will hug and kiss them to the point where it annoys them.)

I will seek light.

About the Author

Sarah Tuttle-Singer is the author of Jerusalem Drawn and Quartered and the New Media Editor at Times of Israel. She was raised in Venice Beach, California on Yiddish lullabies and Civil Rights anthems, and she now lives in Jerusalem with her 3 kids where she climbs roofs, explores cisterns, opens secret doors, talks to strangers, and writes stories about people — especially taxi drivers. Sarah also speaks before audiences left, right, and center through the Jewish Speakers Bureau, asking them to wrestle with important questions while celebrating their willingness to do so. She loves whisky and tacos and chocolate chip cookies and old maps and foreign coins and discovering new ideas from different perspectives. Sarah is a work in progress.