‘I Will Return In Peace’: Jacob’s Timely Lesson In Conflict Resolution

Like all of the Torah’s narratives, Jacob’s departure from the land of Israel operates on multiple levels. “Vayetizei Yaakov mi’Be’er Sheva vayeilech Charana/And Jacob went out from Be’er Sheva and set out for Charan” (Genesis 28:10). While the verse recounts the historic events of Jacob’s travels, the Alter Rebbe teaches that it simultaneously represents the life journey of the soul, and therefore provides guidance for each of us.

Prior to its incarnation in this material realm, the soul resides in the spiritual heights, a place of serenity, holiness, and unity. It needs nothing and lacks nothing, but it is needed to satisfy a lack below. It is therefore called upon to go out from its place of origin where it basks in the glow of its Creator, and to descend to this realm of darkness, separation, and conflict. Selfless and identified completely with the will of God, the soul does not hesitate to accept its mission.

As Jacob prepares to depart from Israel, the holy land of his origin, he declares “v’shavti b’shalom/I will return in peace” (Genesis 28:21). The Alter Rebbe remarks that true peace will not be experienced by staying in the comfort and familiarity of home. The spiritual heights may be a place of tremendous holiness and delight, but this is not the definition of “shalom/peace.” Peace is the resolution of conflict. It is not achieved through the avoidance of division and diversity, but through the fusion of all those things that believe they are individual and disparate.

Jacob, who represents the soul of each of us, knew that it was only by going out of the heavens that he would be able to interact with the broken world and bring it back into alignment. Our task is rectification and unification, and we can only accomplish this task by going out of our place of comfort and tranquility and bringing back with us those who have been isolated and distant.

How can we do so? The answer is provided by Jacob when he arrives at the foreign land of his destination. There he encounters a number of shepherds resting beside a well rather than grazing their sheep. He urges them to go tend to their flocks as it is still early in the day. They respond that the well is covered by a large boulder that they cannot move alone, so they must wait until all of the shepherds gather in order to move the boulder together. Jacob then moves the boulder single-handedly, allowing them all to water their flocks.

The Sages ask why the shepherds are not annoyed by Jacob’s unsolicited counsel. Who is this stranger to come and give instructions in a place where he is not known? Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky explains that the key to the interaction is the very first word with which Jacob addresses the shepherds, “ACHAI me’ayin atem/MY BROTHERS, where are you from” (Genesis 29:4). Jacob begins by establishing his brotherhood with the shepherds, bonding with them and displaying the inner connection that they share in spite of the fact that they have not known one another until now.

Each of us is called upon to go out from our home and our place of comfort. Our soul descends from our heavenly origin where there is absolute harmony and unity, and it is forced to go down and toil in a realm of division and conflict. Yet it is precisely in doing so that we are able to make peace. Though conflict is inevitable in this “alma d’shikra/world of falseness,” peace is achievable when we begin every interaction with “achai/my brothers,” reminding all of God’s children that in spite of our differences of perspective, experience, and opinion, nevertheless at our root we are all brethren who derive from the same singular source.

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