If Only I Was in Saudi Arabia

This morning I had a thought on my way to work, if only I was in Saudi Arabia, the traffic wouldn’t be nearly as bad. Think, 50% or more of the drivers (closer to 75% based on my count) would be off the road. Women cannot legally drive; moreover they are far too busy tending to their husbands every need. They are too busy dealing with the household, the children, and their prayers. Moreover, that same woman may in fact, like Fatima, be a 12 year old sold into marriage to garner money for the family.

In Saudi Arabia, due to the lack of age-governing marriage laws, a woman as young as 8 could hypothetically be sold into marriage with a 58 year old (legalized by court’s refusal to annul in 2008). What a lovely life for that soon to be nine year old. But at least I would be married, that would solve all my future problems of having to find a suitable wife, preferably around my age, and well you know, consenting to the marriage. That would be far too difficult. (Sharia does not specify an age for marriage other than after puberty, and many spiritual leaders suggest 10 as a minimum age).

Moreover, if only I was Muslim in Saudi Arabia, that traffic would be cut down even further in the lanes specified for my religion only. I wouldn’t have to pay the tolls on the mass pike, and anyone who wanted to take my money, would lose their hands. G-d love Sharia, especially when it serves my interests. (In Saudi Arabia, the only legally code of law is Sharia, a religious theocratic system based upon the Quran.)

The bus driver, who cut in front me on a one-way road today, would be jailed indefinitely; I’d never have to worry about him again. And G-d forbid it in Saudi Arabia, but he was also Black; imagine what they would have done to him.  In Saudi Arabia, the man would have been a run away slave, or at the very least, relegated to a lower status as an afro-Saudi. Tainted by slave blood, this man would have been punished far more severely.

Unfortunately however, living in America, I am stuck behind foolish bus drivers, women at the wheel, and I have to find a marriage partner suitable to my own age. It is a pity I do not live in Saudi Arabia; imagine my American white privilege exponentially greater based solely on wealth. But wait, there is one clear problem with this scenario: I am Jewish.