If Seinfeld were still on tv, I would be living next week’s episode – By Keith Resnick

I don’t even know where to begin, but imagine if you went on vacation with Frank and Estelle Costanza, Morty Seinfeld and Jack Klompas (as in the Astronaut Pen “take the pen, I want you to take the pen”), MAYBE then you can comprehend my trip. Actually, no, you can’t. I am in Del Boca Vista, Phase OMFG.

Don’t get me wrong, I am having a nice time, seeing heaps (today we did an actual archaeological dig), and I love the fact that I have decided to stay here for several months, the latest departure being mid-April, by which time I need to start heading home for Cuz J’s wedding in May. And Jason, I will gladly accept my very delicious and very expensive double or nothing steak at that point.

But, as much as I love my mother, my grandmother and everyone else’s g-parents, this is beyond funny; On the bus: it is too hot or the a/c way too high. Thank g-d I brought my Helly Hanson thermal pullover with me, or I might have pneumonia. Forget the fact that we have changed buses 4 times and people have kvetched that the seats are too close in width and pitch, regardless of bus.

In the hotel room: Mom, it is not the middle of the summer. I am F’N freezing and wake up with frozen snot icicles. I feel like Mr. Bigglesworth every time I walk in the room to go to sleep. No layer of thermals is warm enough.

At every outing: We have to walk down steps and then walk up? Where is the escalator? My cane/walker/rascal isn’t going to stop me from kvetching about the walk down/up the steps.

Tonight at dinner, the anectodes abounded. First I was the recipient of a Shiddach (sp). For the uninitiated, a Shiddach (use the chhhhhh as in yechhhh sound at the end) is when a Jewish mother desperately introduces their child to a fellow single Jew, of opposite sex, simply b/c they are both Jewish and single, disregarding the fact that one likes bacon and the other is Kosher. Except tonight, this was a mother whose son was also on the trip with his parents! At least if it was Passover, HE would have to read the 4 questions! Shortly thereafter, in a dining room the size of the Kingdome, apparently someone forgot to tell the Altacockers (Yiddish for old person, I believe) that they should put on their babushkas to combat the a/c, b/c all of a sudden, one person felt the a/c go on, then they all agreed it was really cold.

I hope you have tears in your eyes, first out of laughter, then out of sympathy for me, being with 4/5/6 dozen kvetching Jews from NY. In fact, our bus got OLDER the last couple of days. We went from a 55ish y.o. bus to the infirm bus that has to refill on gas every 15 Km b/c of all the walkers and rascals underneath weighing it down. If this wan’t so ridiculously funny from my perspective I would cry!

Liked this HowFunny post? Recommend, Share, Like, Tweet — and give this entry’s writer a chance to win a pair of tickets to the May 2013 Comedy for Koby tour.

Do you have a post for HowFunny? Send it with “How Funny” in the subject line to and we’ll share it on this blog.

You can find more HowFunny entries on the HowFunny author page.

About the Author
How Funny is not a baby, it’s a CONTEST that YOU THE READER help decide; If this ‘Funniest Moment in Israel’ post brightens your day, then vote for it; The prize for the winning posts is a pair of tickets to Comedy for Koby, a standup extravaganza featuring top comics that raises funds for the Koby Mandell Foundation, which works on behalf of families of victims of terror: Show your love for this post, and, of course, GO SEE THE SHOW