I’m Not Okay

“I’m fine” no longer seems to suffice as my standard answer when asked how I’m doing; it rings hollow and fails to capture the weight of my overall mindset amidst world events. Although life continues fairly normally, I simply haven’t been myself since October 7^th.

I’m not okay when it seems people have lost interest in the systematic murder and rape of over 1,200 innocent people by a group that wishes repeated death upon the ~10 million people of Israel.

I’m not okay these animals played catch with breasts they cut off women they just gang-raped.

I’m not okay with the silence over babies being burned in cribs or cooked in microwaves while their parents were forced to watch. I’m also not okay with the silence over children being forced to watch their parents get mutilated and killed.

I’m not okay that it’s been 224 days since October 7^th and 130+ hostages aged 1-80+ are living in an indescribable hellhole.

I’m not okay that my neighbor’s innocent son is being held hostage and his family is left in agonizing uncertainty regarding his whereabouts or condition.

I’m not okay with Nazi salutes in front of a Jewish fraternity.

I’m not okay with my daughter’s T.A. skipping class to be in a tent, signing emails to students with “Free Palestine,” and the professor encouraging students to attend a pro-Palestinian rally in a class that has nothing to do with politics, global relations, or the Middle East.

I’m not okay that my daughter overheard two women in her university library claiming “it’s probably a Zionist’s fault” that sneakers were abandoned in a hallway for days.

I’m not okay with the man I saw walking with a sign stating, ‘Zionists are the new white supremacists.’

I’m not okay with bomb threats toward Hillel, antisemitic graffiti, or the k-word being thrown around at my alma mater.

I’m not okay with my alma mater hosting antisemitic speakers like Roger Waters during the holiest week of the Jewish year.

I’m not okay that my son, while traveling in Europe, needs to see ‘Free Palestine’ and anti-Israel stickers everywhere and had to spend time ripping them down.

I’m not okay with university administrations letting poisonous falsehoods swim through the veins of their institutions in the name of freedom of speech or thinking these are “peaceful” protests.

I’m not okay with university administrations yielding to protestor demands to vote on boycotting Israel; it’s against many state laws and undermines the spirit of institutional neutrality.

I’m not okay with faceless students and faculty repeating false slogans I doubt they even understand in stormtrooper-like fashion.

I’m not okay with university professors being “exhilarated” by October 7^th.

I’m not okay that so few influential leaders seem to speak out. While yellow ribbons and blue pins have been sporadically worn, I recall only one artist publicly condemning antisemitism at a major award ceremony. Thank you, John Mellencamp, a non-Jew, who spoke up before 10/7 at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction ceremony.

I’m not okay with the glaring double-standard where Jews and Israel are consistently scapegoated, while countless other atrocities around the world go unaddressed.

I’m not okay repeatedly hearing about Israel committing genocide or being an apartheid state. To paraphrase Bill Maher, genocide is when you want to wipe out an entire group of people. That is what Hamas wishes on Israel but can’t. That is what Israel can do to Gaza but doesn’t. As for apartheid, 20% of the ~10 million people living in Israel are Arab and work, vote, and live in a democratic society.

I’m not okay with hearing ‘From the River to the Sea’. 10 million diverse people live between the Jordan River and the Mediterranean Sea in the only democracy in the Middle East.

I’m not okay with the hypocrisy of social justice groups, feminist organizations, and the UN seemingly ignoring the atrocities against women on October 7^th.

I’m not okay that it was just Holocaust Remembrance Day and ‘Never Forget’ and ‘Never Again’ seem to have been forgotten…again.

In lamenting over September 11^th, my grandfather said to me, “this is worse than Pearl Harbor” and I explained to my kids on October 7^th, how for Jews and Israel this was worse than 9/11.  I yearn for more people to educate themselves and encourage friends to do the same. While I wish more would donate time and money, attend a rally, write political and university leaders, or just do more, I mostly ask for consciousness and compassion about what’s happening.

I know from the words of the Nova Festival survivors that “we will dance again,” but until we can, I’m sorry to say the answer to your question is “no, I’m not okay.”