Inches to Metric: I Am Woman

Trigger warning! This column was not easy to write and will/may be difficult to read.

Where to begin?

October 7th sent shock waves throughout Israel and the world, especially World Jewry. Many suffered immeasurable pain. But a human failing/truth; its easier to understand/digest a situation when focusing on a few individual victims rather than thousands.

My previous post Holiday of Miracles focused on three people/hostages. I had  finished reading Hostage by Eli Sharabi and was inspired. Eli was the sole survivor of the three. This post highlights three more people/victims, two women and a man, the women survived.

Rape during war. War crime or resistance?

I’m writing about a topic that is horrific and I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Numerous people/victims living and dead from October 7th and ones held in captivity were raped. The level of depravity and cruelty the Hamas “freedom fighters” inflicted on the men, women and children is unfathomable/shocking. Grief this large is personal, communal, devastating.

It’s difficult to know what to focus on.

Do I… address the rape and mutilation of the women and men as they were being killed… raping mothers in front of their children before killing them, then dragging their children into Gaza as hostages… raping the women and men held in captivity… women needing abortions after release… IDF finding manuals on slain Hamas militants instructing them to rape and mutilate the people/victims?

I’ve sobbed deeply a few times since the massacre.

On October 7, 2023 when I first learned of the massacre I sobbed deeply, then again while visiting the Anu Museum of the Jewish People in Tel Aviv. The museum was hosting an exhibit showing live and still photos of the massacre and aftermath from October 7.  Some of  the images were taken by Roee Idan, an Israeli photo journalist (worked for Ynet). He managed to video terrorists pillaging his Kibbutz Kfar Aza shortly before a few entered his home, killing him.

Then I felt numb.

I’ve been to Israel since the beginning of the war eight times. I visited Nova and the Gaza area/envelope twice, hostage square three times, spoken with countless active duty soldiers and their families, family members of hostages, seen videos of testimony of released hostages, and saw video footage of the recorded atrocities by Hamas militia. I thought I had seen it all. Watching the hourlong interview of Romi Gonen, a released hostage, (featured in Eve Barlow’s blog Blacklisted)  made my skin crawl. I started to shake and sob.

Romi was at the Nova festival.

Romi was captured while trying to escape. She was thrown wounded into a car, then taken directly to a hospital in Gaza where a bullet was surgically removed from her arm. She met Emily Damari, (British Israeli) at the hospital who was kidnapped from Kibbutz Kfar Aza. Emily was operated on by the same surgeon who operated on Romi. Two fingers on Emily’s left hand were blown off on October 7th.

Immediately after the surgery while still groggy, Romi is driven alone to an apartment where she remains guarded by several Arab men. The men followed her closely. Even when using the bathroom. Once after showering she was raped. Afterwards, the terrorist/rapist put a gun to her head and said, ” If you tell anyone I will kill you.”

As the war intensifies Romi is taken underground “to keep her safe.” She reunites with Emily Damari in a tunnel. This friendship saves them. During hostage negotiations, she receives a visit by top Hamas leadership. They made a deal, “granting” her early release in exchange for silence, simultaneously threatening her if she spoke up about the sexual abuse she endured in captivity.

Romi’s states in her interview/testimony she is coming forward now because all the living hostages are back in Israel safely. She feared her testimony might have endangered the remaining living hostages. She speaks with confidence and clarity. An inspiring listen.

Will rape will ever by eradicated as a form of war?

There are some people/trolls/organizations that believe rape is a form of resistance. If that is the case why was Romi silenced twice about exposing the sexual abuse she endured?

Sheryl Sandberg produced a documentary Screams Before Silence where she visits the sites of the massacre and interviews several of the released hostages. They speak of unimaginable abuse.

I’d like to highlight an organization called The Dinah Project named after our patriarch Jacob’s only daughter Dinah. She was raped. It is the first instance in the Bible where rape is mentioned. The Dinah Project was created after October 7th by incredibly bright, feminist, fierce women. One of whom is a dear friend. This initiative is dedicated to bringing justice to the victims of October 7th and all future victims of sexual violence. See mission statement.

Our bond with Romi Gonen.

My granddaughter was born while Romi Gonen was in captivity. She was named in Romi’s honor. Upon Romi Gonen’s release we cried. I’m incredibly proud that our baby girl Romi will carry a bond with Romi Gonen throughout her life. Our Romi turns one this week, I think of Romi Gonen often when I call out our baby’s name.

The strength to go on no matter what adversity life throws at you is a quality I admire in all our Israeli brothers and sisters. See how Emily and Romi kept their spirits up during captivity!

I grew up singing I Am Woman by Helen Reddy at the top of my lungs.

For those unfamiliar with the song, here are the opening lines…”I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore, and I know know too much to go back and pretend. ‘Cause I’ve heard it all before and I’ve been down there on the floor, no ones ever gonna keep me down again!

Whoa, yes I am wise, but it’s wisdom born of pain. Yes I’ve paid the price, but look how much I gained. If I have to, I can do anything. I am strong (strong), I am invincible (invincible), I am women…”

It empowered me then, and it empowers me now! I’m incredibly grateful to The Dinah Project for standing up and roaring for us all!