Inches to Metric: The Clique

Camp is a social incubator

We are a Camp Ramah family and have been involved with camp for decades. However anyone who ever attended camp or middle school and survived/thrived knows, social dynamics are tricky. Not easy to navigate. Often a small group of noisy anti social kids (clique) can control the narrative. Who is popular? Who is not? By age12 it’s impossible to avoid cliques. It’s the natural order of life. Usually the clique does more than exclude, they bully. You either join, ignore or do something about it.

When our kids were campers, one of them had an extremely tight off-putting clique/group form in their group (aidah). No surprise the12 year olds were upset, including our child. Someone attacks my kid, I turn into a raging mama bear. But after considering various options it seemed better to empower, strengthen within.

  A good story can empower 

I shared with our kids the following story. At the 25th anniversary of our Nivo ’74 (oldest aidah) my husband and I drove to camp for a weekend reunion. As we were pulling into the parking area the “queen bee” from our clique pulled up next to us. I said “yikes/other”. I took a deep breath. I was 39, a “mature” married women with three kids, incredibly active within the camp system and felt completely at home. I got out of the car giggled gave the “queen” a big hug and said isn’t it nice to know we all grow up!

She burst into tears and spent the weekend apologizing for having been so mean. She confessed she was actually miserable each summer as she held her “loyal servants” hostage. After sharing that I was active in typical camp stuff; theatre, boating, woodworking, shenanigans in the cabin and as an adult involved in leadership, she said she was sad she missed out on so much.

It was mind blowing, illuminating and healing to hear her perspective. We hugged again, never mentioning how we had ignored each other every summer. It was understood. It was impressive the “queen” came to our reunion. Clearly she was there to do teshuvah (repentance).

I devised a plan

After sharing the story with our kids, I offered an idea. Instead of caving to the pressure of the crowd which feared the clique/tight group, form a happiness club. Make it cool to be inclusive, anyone not interested was automatically uncool. It took some effort. At first a few kids joined. By the end of the summer the group had become open, relaxed and inclusive.

By not fearing the group, the clique lost power and it’s hold over them. The following summer none of the clique members returned. To this day their group remains tightly committed to camp and each other.

Bullies love power

The “social justice” warriors are the bullies of today. They are using similar techniques used by middle schoolers. Intimidation into submission. They prey on weak individuals looking to join a cause. With each submission they grow in power. They rally their loyal subjects, stating they will achieve their goals by any means necessary; organizing rallies, vandalizing property, ramming into buildings, posting lies on social media, blacklisting, encouraging mass shootings, teaching others how to bully.

What are the goals?

It’s not clear other than “they” want power and to destroy society as we know it. I remember when the feminist movement began, suddenly women were pitted against each other. I kept thinking if we have free choice why can’t everyone just decide what is best for themselves. Who kept their maiden name? Did women work or stay home? Then “they” went after men, heterosexuality, sexuality, family unit, religion, community, nation states, capitalism, merit based excellence ethnicity, etc.

Judge, judge, judge…

“They” found if they pitted a group internally against each other they could tear down which ever community they were targeting “de jour” faster. The old adage applied “united we stand divided we fall”. The group “they” are currently focusing on is Israel, the Jewish community, Western values.

Who are they? It keeps shifting, but evil dudes are forging alliances. “They” took on the Palestinian cause. Here is a funny/not funny cartoon demonstrating what lengths Hamas and its supporters (clique) are willing to go to for worldwide sympathy, using Palestinian’s as pawns in their terror game.

No More Mr. Nice Guy (click)

Unfortunately some Jewish leaders have drunk the Kool-aid PR/propaganda (flipped Jews). Their power is real. These loyal “As a Jew” servants of Hamas use their pulpit/bully platform to divide the Jewish community within and away from Israel, Useful Idiots.

We have become Polarized!

My dear friend Roberta Rosenthal Kwall wrote an excellent book called Polarized, Why American Jews are Divided and What to Do About It. She breaks down in detail how this came about.

What happened to nuance?

Politics for many has become religion. Moderation is vanishing. The concept called sectarianism, the “othering, aversion, and moralization” by the bully: if you don’t believe what I believe you are morally bankrupt and not allowed in my friend circle, explains much. Her book provides suggestions on how to go about repairing our splintered community.

 Fighting the “Bully”

Dara Horn just released The Final solution to the Jewish Question, A love Story for the Living. She discusses her book on one of my favorite Pod Casts, Call Me Back with Dan Senor. Her thesis: Anti Semitism is a big lie/pr campaign, Jews are evil. Why? Because the Jewish Culture, does not bow to dictators. Going back in history one sees the pattern.

She suggests a different approach to teaching Anti-Semitism to Jews and non Jews, while exposing the network of organizations involved in spreading Anti-Semitism, slandering Jews, Israel and Western ideology.

 Help fight the “Bully”

There is an incredibly effective Whats App advocacy group Pens for Swords. They format letters and petitions anywhere Anti Semitism/BDS/Anti Israel/Anti Western ideology is being promoted. I fill out several each day. It takes only seconds and makes an impact. It is by invitation only.  Please reach out.

New Jew, STAND PROUD!

Israel was created from the ashes of the Holocaust. We were starved and broken but rose above the Nazi killing clique. Israel began a happy PR campaign, “New Jew”. It worked! We are cool, one of the happiest countries in the world despite all the wars, ranking 8th in World Population Review.

We are Israelites!

Don’t let others control our narrative! Jews and Israel go together like trees and humans, trees needing carbon dioxide from humans, and humans needing the oxygen trees emit. You can’t separate the two. I wish All Jews/People of Faith/everyone could spend time in Israel. Once you breath in the air you know that “We All” belong to this precious land and our wonderful world.

PS People who successfully navigate camp thrive in life. You don’t like your miserable life, don’t blame us, change it. As for the clique of liars and flipped Jews…don’t come back to camp!

PPS Don’t mess with Wonder Woman, she will fight back!