Iran, dead Jews, and life on the playground

Thank You America

The Jews of Israel are very, very grateful to the United States of America. With the help of the United States, we were able to successfully defend ourselves against an enormous missile barrage from Iran and prevent a mass casualty event.

President Biden has made it crystal clear that when the neighborhood bully comes onto our playground and tries to hit us, we are allowed to block every single punch, kick, and bite. Not only that, but America will also help us block those punches. So thank you America and thank you President Biden for enabling our kids to get home from school yesterday with barely a scratch.

Can We Hit Back? Please.

At the same time, the President has said that while we can use every means we have to block every Koran inspired punch from Iran, we shouldn’t hit the neighborhood Jihadi bully back. He has also made it clear that the US won’t help us if we choose to bloody the bully’s nose. Yes, we are very grateful, though honestly, we are also a bit perplexed. Oh well, I guess the playground can sometimes be a confusing place.

But wait, this isn’t a neighborhood school yard and we’re not playing games. Last night, 7.2 million Jews took cover in their bomb shelters. (Just curious. How many Americans need bomb shelters in their homes?) Thank God, none of the Iranian punches landed, but if they had, then what? Then we would be allowed to hit back? Then we could bloody Iran’s nose, or break its legs, or shoot it in the head? How many dead Jews gives us that right? Is one enough? Ya know, one like me? Or perhaps a family. Or maybe everyone in the synagogue down the block? Would that be enough dead Jews?

Thank You Mr. Presidents

We are very grateful that President Biden and the US rallied England and France as well as Muslim countries like Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and the United Arab Emirates to help us block those surface-to-surface death tipped Ayatollah punches. We are also very grateful to former President Trump for the Abraham Accords that created the possibility for President Biden to rally those Muslim countries. At the same time, we’re just not sure that even the best defense is enough to stop this big bad Jihadi bully who is, by the way, close to having a nuclear weapon, while also holding it’s Allah Akbar (“God is great!) finger on the trigger of 150,000 Party of Allah (Hezbollah) missiles that can reach every Jew in Israel in a matter of minutes or less.

Should We or Should We Not?

Should we continue to defend ourselves, and hope that the United States and others in the new Middle East alliance will assist us, or should we also hit Iran where it hurts?

Should we wait for Iran to finally cross the nuclear threshold before we launch a major attack and possibly spark a major regional war, or should we not wait?

Should we wait for Hezbollah to blanket our skies with missiles before we launch a preemptive attack and possibly spark a major regional war, or should we not wait?

Oh, and I almost forgot. You know those Iranian financed and trained Hamas bullies that invaded our playground, raped little girls playing hopscotch, beheaded kids on the swings, kidnapped their mommies and grandads, and then ran to hide behind their own friends, neighbors, cousins, day care centers and hospitals. What should we do about them?

Coming to A Playground Near You

We are very grateful to President Biden for all he has done.

We also want to remind America about a dark day on their playground. Remember that day when Jihadi Muslims invaded a Manhattan playground and knocked down those two towers you worked so hard to build? Well, guess what. If somebody doesn’t stop the Jihadis in Teheran, it won’t be long before they come after suburban playgrounds across the United States. Because after all, while the Islamic Republic calls the Jews of Israel the Little Satan, it calls the Christians of America the Great Satan. And though kids on the playground are taught that “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me,” Iran takes its name calling very seriously, and it’s ballistic sticks and nuclear stones can break a lot more than bones. But maybe, just maybe, we can all make up and be friends. Or perhaps, when it comes to the Iranian goal of conquering the world for Allah, as my wife says, “Maybe they can just let go of that and learn to play nicely with all the other kids on the playground.”