Is this a war we are all fighting?
Hi, I am Noa, married with two young children. And I am a miluim mom. My husband has been serving for over 300 days of miluim since October 7th. (Yes, there are people who have served more, and people who are going through other difficulties, though I am here to discuss one specific thought).
Starting October 7th, at 10am, at those terrible moments of uncertainty, I asked my husband if there is anything I can do or say to prevent him from leaving, and his answer was no, he said he needs to go do whatever he can.
I wasn’t mad at him, I knew that he decided to make Aliya on his own, leaving his whole family behind, for moments like this. He wants to serve the country, to fight for its existence. And now is his time.
My husband is unique in many ways, especially in his devotion to this country. I try not to have the same expectations from others as he has for himself. However, even he has his limits. At this point in the war, after being away for so long, he would much rather be home with me and our young children. To live his life as he should.
Realizing the state he is in makes me wonder where everyone else is. And no, I’m not speaking to the Haredi community. I don’t feel like I have the power to make governmental decisions. There are a lot of other individuals, people like my husband, who made Aliya and now benefit from living here, or others who grew up here and for some reason aren’t part of the system, and are able to take part and enlist.
And for those who are unable to do so? I am all in. Take care of yourself, whether it’s mentally or for any other reason. But there is no reason that individuals or families who aren’t participating in this war at this time should not be saluting those who are, and they should constantly be trying to help.
I have a lot of examples, thank G-d, of those who reached out to me offering their help, though the number has decreased in each round. Some shout-outs to those who have recently been a big help: Our families, Sima Stein, the Bernsteins, the Weissmans, Jordyn’s Meals, Muffin Boutique, our close friends, and many more. We are fortunate to have people thinking of us. This is not the case with a lot of my friends whose husbands are away for long periods of time as well.
When my friends and I vent to each other, we quickly realize that those who aren’t part of the system have no idea how hard it is. Taking care of everyday chores – alone — day after day, sleepless nights with young babies, working as if everything is normal, and having a constant ache when our husbands are in Gaza, in Lebanon, or arresting terrorists in the West Bank.
האחים יבואו למלחמה ואתם תשבו פה?” (במדבר לב, ו)”
I am writing to try to raise awareness. Time is doing its job enabling us to not stay in the same state we were in at the beginning of the war, though we must not forget that those who are serving are still working hard, and so are their families. If we aren’t part of it physically, we must contribute in other ways, without stopping.
Concrete ways to help miluim families: “I’m going to the store, what can I get you?” “I’m bringing over dinner tonight. Would you prefer meat or dairy?” “When can I come over to watch the kids while you go do your own thing?” “Leave the garbage outside your door tonight, I’ll take it down.” “I’m sending over money for you to buy yourself something,” and so on.
May we have a special new year, with a lot of besorot tovot.
