It’s Hard To Be A Jew On Christmas

Every holiday season it’s been the same. I think, oh this has to be the way…the sparkly lights, the presents under the trees…Is there a Santa? Is he possibly even Jewish? I mean Jesus was Jewish…

It’s never been easy being a Jew at Christmas time. No matter how much we twist ourselves into attempting to fit in on this holiday, it just does not feel like it must for Christians.

I have memories as a young girl of entering my friends homes…the trees! The mounds and mounds of presents! Oh how happy they must be, I would think, I wish my family could be that happy…I wish I could feel all the feelings they must be feeling…joy, anticipation, eagerness! 

So I married a celebrator, a great lover of Christmas, a Goy. I did all the things! I wrapped the presents, and watched the movies. I was convinced that even if I did not have these feelings, I would enjoy his happiness and that joy would be enough for me.

Clearly that did not work out and I went on to have many holidays seasons as a single mother. I recreated all of it for my young daughter – Chanukah and Christmas-and listen, for me, every day is Christmas with her…she is the greatest gift of my life. I spent many lonely Christmases, as single mothers often do, you know one year his place, the next yours, it was tough. I did write a wonderful Christmas song as only a Jew can do. https://youtu.be/lxnHM6qlXKI?feature=shared

I love to shop so that part was always fun. I love to wrap gifts and give gifts…that part is…well mostly fun until one is completely exhausted from all the running around.

And then comes the big day.

I’m sorry, I have tried and tried and I am at peace now with simply feeling not a part of Christmas.

I see the decorated trees with everyone’s name on it, the stockings where I am invisible. It may be time for this Jewish gal to throw in the proverbial Christmas towel and just be me…a Jew at Christmas time.

The thing is… I have not even found a friend to do Chinese food and a movie with!!  I mean I don’t even think there is a single Chinese food restaurant or movie theatre open here in Stratford.

So…maybe I’ll just have to write another Christmas song…or do something to besides eating to fill the emptiness.

At the end of the day, I will have survived. I will light the Chanukah candle for the first night and I will say a prayer for the release of the hostages.

I wish for something wonderful for everyone, for those in the darkness and those in the light. May we all find our way.

May the coming year bring more light into all of our lives.

https://youtu.be/WUJ5VvMpXh8?feature=shared. A lonely Jew On Christmas- South Park