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David Lerner

It’s Not All About Me – Parashah Eikev 5784

One of my joyful moments this past summer. I was able to move dressers, bookcases, and a table from my garage in Lexington, MA to NYC, all the way to my daughter Talya’s new apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

You might wonder, “Rabbi, why is this a big deal? We have all moved furniture.”

OK, fair enough…

But I grew up in an apartment complex in NYC where we called maintenance, even to replace a lightbulb, so I didn’t learn anything practical except how to use the phone. 

It was a rotary dial, so maybe it was a little impressive to learn that…

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

For the younger generation here, it’s a phone with a dial. You put your finger in a numbered hole, and then… well, forget it. 

Anyway, back to my big accomplishment: I wanted to get the furniture to NY without breaking it, so I figured out how to remove the middle seats from my minivan. 

I bought those cool furniture blankets that real movers have, jumbo rubber bands to hold them, and a ratchet set to tie the furniture down tightly. 

I tilted each piece of heavy furniture on our old Radio Flyer red wagon and pulled it to the minivan. 

Photo credit: Flickr

Admittedly, I had to watch the video on how to work the ratchet set a couple of times —all right, maybe ten times—but I got it done.

And then, I felt so proud. 

I, I did it. 

* * *

Our Torah reading this morning is part of a long speech that Moses is making to the Israelites on the eastern side of the Jordan River before the people cross, and Moses cannot cross with them.

Moses is giving the people a pep talk. He is the coach cheering on the sideline, but he will not be able to get on the field and play with the team.

He warns them about doing wrong things and encourages them by reminding them of the good that comes from staying on the correct path. 

Moses paints a positive picture of the future that he will not be a part of. 

He says: “When you have eaten your fill, and have built fine houses to live in, and your herds and flocks have multiplied, and your silver and gold have increased, and everything you own has prospered, beware lest your heart grow haughty and you forget Adonai your God—Who freed you from the land of Egypt, the house of bondage; […] ​​and you say to yourselves, ‘My own power and the might of my own hand have won this wealth for me.’”  (Dt. 7:12-14, 17)

Moses says when you think you did it all, don’t get carried away with yourself. No one is an island—each of us has other people in our lives—friends, family, and community; each of us relies on our public roads and infrastructure to do anything. 

While we may come up with ingenious ideas, almost always, others are involved in making them a success. As an African proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

* * *

Don’t get caught up in yourself. This gets expanded by the Psalmist to include leaders: “Put not your trust in the great, in mortals who cannot save. Their breath departs; they return to the dust; on that day their plans come to nothing.” (Psalm 146:2)

Moses and, later in Jewish history, the prophet Samuel warns us about having a king—they tend to grab too much power and say they are above the law. 

We should stop here and realize how prescient, visionary, and right-on-target Moses was. 

Sadly, we see this throughout the world today, and it seems to be ascendant: dictators and political leaders in the US and Israel who place themselves over the needs of the people they are supposed to serve.

For us as Jews, it is deeply troubling that the Israeli Prime Minister seems to be placing his own leadership over the needs of others. According to some, not only Hamas but Bibi has not prioritized the deal to release the hostages. This should not be about him but about our long-suffering hostages.

* * *

I’d like to dig a little deeper into this teaching. The Torah uses a wonderfully descriptive phrase to explain that we might become arrogant or full of ourselves when we say I did it all. The words are: “וְרָ֖ם לְבָבֶ֑ךָ;” literally, your heart will become high or grow and get big. You will become full of yourself.

Photo Credit; Wikimedia Commons

Ibn Ezra, a 12th-century Spanish commentator, comments on these words: “You will forget that you were a slave and your heart was downcast. You will forget the affliction and hunger you experienced in the wilderness, and even so, Adonai sustained you.” 

I love his use of metaphor—watch out for your heart growing too big because it was once small and downcast.

When you think it’s all about you, you forget that you were once a slave, and if you forget that, you stop lifting up those in need today. 

Sometimes, those who do very well forget that, ultimately, we are all in this world together. 

The great modern British rabbi and writer Jonathan Sacks explained this verse this way: “God’s word is like rain in a dry land. It brings life. It makes things grow. There is much we can do of our own accord: we can plough the earth and plant the seeds. But in the end, our success depends on something beyond our control. If no rain falls, there will be no harvest, whatever preparations we make. So it is with Israel. It must never be tempted into the hubris of saying: “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me” (Deut. 8:17).

* * *

As I was listening to Josh Shapiro, the Jewish Governor of Pennsylvania (who is the brother of the son-in-law of our own Hal and Sandy Miller-Jacobs, and my sister teaches his kids – so he is practically a member of Emunah :-), I was inspired by his words: “E Pluribus Unum; You recognize this phrase from U.S. coins and the nation’s seal. – out of many, one – it’s not merely a motto from the past; it’s our direction for the future. You see, you all give me hope, and you all have the power.”

When I got to Talya’s apartment, she, her boyfriend, and my wife, Sharon, helped unload. Life is easier when it’s not all about me.

Judaism says it’s not just me, not just one, but all of us. Let us take that lesson as we move forward.

About the Author
For the past seventeen years, David Lerner has served as the spiritual leader of Temple Emunah in historic Lexington, MA, where he is now the senior rabbi. He has served as the president of the Massachusetts Board of Rabbis and the Lexington Interfaith Clergy Association. He is one of the founders of Community Hevra Kadisha of Greater Boston, ClergyAgainstBullets.org and Emunat HaLev: The Meditation and Mindfulness Institute of Temple Emunah. A graduate of Columbia College and ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary where he was a Wexner Graduate Fellow, Rabbi Lerner brings to his community a unique blend of warmth, outreach, energetic teaching, intellectual rigor and caring for all ages.