A wonderful old movie from the 1970s comes to mind, entitled, “The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings.” It’s about a bunch of happy-go-lucky miscreants but amazingly talented players in the Negro Baseball League of the 1920s starring Billy Dee Williams, Richard Pryor, and James Earl Jones. As was their custom at the beginning of each game, their pitcher (Williams) would throw his first pitch right down the middle. A perfect strike. It was their welcome pitch, the team’s way of stating who they were and that they were unafraid of the consequences of an opposing batter pouncing on that initial fastball.
I have had enough of Iran this and Iran that. Of the revelation that Iran had in storage more than 50,000 documents about how to mount a nuclear warhead on a missile, and how Mossad broke into a warehouse in Tehran in 2016 and seized those documents. Of the suspicions that Iran and North Korea are working together and sharing nuclear technology (of course they are). Of Iran’s ties to Al Qaeda and Hezbollah. Of terrorist attacks and beheadings. And of the very real prospect that nuclear weapons will be in the hands of Jihadist fanatics in the near future.
So this is my open proposal to the President of the United States.
After Japan attacked our nation on December 7th, 1941, FDR authorized a reckless plan carried out by incredibly brave pilots that history now knows as the Doolittle Raid. Before our B-25 Mitchell bombers took off from the USS Hornet, our personnel attached some friendship medals to our bombs, medals given to our diplomats by Japanese delegates in Washington while their carriers were about to commence bombing runs at Pearl Harbor.
In keeping with the tradition solidified in our nation’s history by Bingo Long and his All Stars, I suggest we unleash the U.S. Navy’s version of a welcome pitch to the Islamic Republic of Iran.
Welcome to war with the United States of America, guys.
The Fire Control Officer onboard the USS McFaul, an Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer currently on station in the Persian Gulf, can be furnished these coordinates, 35°42′29″N 51°25′26″E / 35.708°N 51.424°E. As mentioned in one of my prior articles, those are the coordinates of the former U.S. Embassy in Tehran, overrun in 1979 during the Islamic Revolution and the current headquarters of Iran’s Quds Force. Given the appropriate green light, that warship can place a BGM-109 Tomahawk missile, speeding at 550 mph with a warhead consisting of 1,000 pounds of high explosives, in the center of the Quds sanctuary. A second Tomahawk can streak into the headquarters of the Republican Guard, taking care of General Soleimani and General Salami, and a third Tomahawk needs to be focused on Ali Khamenei. Painting smiling portraits of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln on the noses of those three cruise missiles would perfect our opening advances.
The United States is not an aggressor nation. We didn’t invade Poland and France, kill millions of innocents simply because their religions or belief systems differ from ours, and if you are even a casual student of history, you must acknowledge that Americans have steadfastly accepted the challenge to combat aggressor nations throughout the last couple of centuries. Are we perfect? Absolutely not. Have we made dumb mistakes, like supporting the Shah of Iran? Absolutely. And will we make other bonehead political decisions, stand beside questionable allies, and continue to bounce from pillar to post with seemingly neither rhyme nor reason as the House of Representatives, our Senate, and those who occupy the Oval Office change position every few years? Of course we will.
The last thing a free society can achieve is consistency, and the United States is often more like a restless child than a focused Republic. But our greatness stems from our resiliency. We protect and cherish objectors, while other forms of government would immediately imprison or execute those who dare question or disagree. Our greatness stems from being an openly divisive society, where factions are clearly at great odds with one another, and yet when we are threatened, the bond that unites us makes us inseparable. We are Americans, and we are clearly misguided in that we feel this great form of government is for others in all cultures to embrace. Misguided in that we feel we are to be respected wherever we may go. And misguided in that we feel safe in the knowledge that others comprehend that to attack us will “awaken a sleeping giant” as Admiral Yamamoto declared as his ships sailed toward Japan after the infamous attack at Pearl Harbor.
In my advocating a preemptive, controlled strike against Iran, an associate asked me what other nations might join us in that conflict. And what about reconstruction, he asked?
My answer is this. We do this alone. It’s a surgical strike that’s a warning to the Iranian ship of state. Change course, is the message, or we’ll do this again and again and again. Truly abandon your quest to possess nuclear weapons, or we will do this again and again and again. Relinquish your role as a terrorist nation, or we will do this again and again and again.
And as we loosen sanctions and Iran is able to increase natural gas and crude oil exports, that nation will be able to feel the effects of enormous capital infusion. By abandoning their militaristic and Jihadist posture, more and more capital will flow into their private sector, and the poverty level in Iran will plummet.
And if new leadership in Iran foolishly decides to antagonize the sleeping giant again, we will do this again and again and again.