That is it! I have had enough. After much consultation with friends and colleagues, I have decided that the only way to achieve goodwill among people, freedom among nations, human dignity for all and world peace is to boycott Israel!
But unlike the other Mickey Mouse outfits going around, this time we’re going to do it properly. There will be no half measures in this boycott – this will be a complete one. That is the only way to achieve our goals. If we work together, we’ll show those Jews – I mean colonial imperialistic forces, because we’re not racist, you know…
We need to lead by example, so right after this blog goes out, we need to shut down our computers and get rid of them! That’s right – just toss them out! They’re probably running Windows or contain some kind of Intel chip invented in Israel, so let’s not give the Jews the satisfaction of using their products.
Make sure that if you leave home for any reason, even if it’s to go to the supermarket, you don’t talk to your family or send them texts from your mobile phone. Those horrific devices were invented in Israel and have caused untold harm to the world. People can easily live without them, so swipe the smile off their faces by getting rid of them! Also make sure your voicemail is turned off on your home phone since some Israeli company invented the voice-mail system.
This part is important so listen carefully – if you do still have a computer and access to the internet, don’t search for anything! The algorithm used by Google was developed by an Israeli student in Australia. So from now, don’t use the internet for research anymore. Go to your local library and browse… the library that is and find what you’re looking for. I believe they do have the World Book Encyclopaedia edition of 1991 still available, so you can keep up to date.
We will also be monitoring all salads in the world in order to remove cherry tomatoes, which were invented in Israel. Doesn’t that make you feel good knowing that you have a trained Boycott Israel officer going through your salad leaves in order to remove that toxic item?
In terms of medication, whatever you have in your cupboard, destroy it now! There is a very good chance the Israeli company Teva Pharmaceuticals might have developed these, which is clearly a crime against humanity.
If you do have relatives or loved ones suffering from Parkinsons Disease, liver disease or epileptic fits, rip away their medication at once! Israel developed many of these treatments in a clearly sinister plot to divert attention from their own crimes. It’s important that your loved ones suffer for the sake of freedom.
We are also calling on anyone that has been helped by Israel through their relief efforts around the world to return all services rendered to them. So that state of the art Emergency Room Israel built in Kenya in 2011 needs to be shut down immediately! Also, anyone whose injuries were healed or lives saved through Israeli emergency field hospitals, as well as medical aid sent to Haiti, Sri Lanka, India, El Salvador, Turkey, Colombia and others, need to report to a qualified Boycott Israel officer who will reintroduce your injuries and terminate your life… in the interests of freedom and peace.
People – we can stop the Jews – I mean Zionist, imperialistic foreigners – if we work together! How dare they bring their so-called values to the world? Instead of trying to fit in with their neighbours by suppressing protests, denying freedom and rights, denying free thoughts and respect for women and all individuals – they actually do the opposite by giving people rights! This only serves to enrage their neighbours! What kind of warped mentality is that?
Arabs are fleeing the Jewish state in droves! Latest figures of these Arab refugees from Israel are… well none, but that’s only because it probably hasn’t updated yet… you know… check back later.
We need this boycott as it is not fair that Israel is denying Palestinians their rights as they have clearly been there for tens of thousands of years. Some official Palestinian reports even say they were there well before the dinosaurs.
Now, if anyone would like to work with me in order to develop a practical plan, please contact me via smoke signal anytime. Just maybe check the wind first, but I will be in my cave all day.
Finally, we all need to work as one in order to boycott all things Israeli and remove the hopes and dreams of people worldwide that these Zionistic inventions have given. Only together we can achieve our goals! And together we can march against the Zionist entity – except for those in a wheelchair, because although Israel has developed a device called ReWalk which would give you the ability to walk again – you can’t use it.