Ki Tavo: Crazy Vs. Stupid

Crazy or Stupid? These are two words that I would like to discuss this week.

There is a certain feeling we feel after we do something impulsive. Like when we are speaking to a salesman about a certain product and you know that you want it for many reasons, but you also know that you can’t afford it, and you still go ahead and buy it. That feeling you have when you have to tell your spouse about the expense and needing the proper words to justify it and hoping that they will agree with your decision. So too the pit in the stomach when the bill comes due and it has to be paid before you even get your worth out of it. And of course the butterflies in the stomach as you truly wish that this investment will end up being worthwhile and beneficial.

This to some may be deemed a stupid deed, but the real word they should be looking for is ‘crazy.’ Stupidity isn’t relative, crazy is. Just ask your cousin. Something crazy may end up working out, something stupid needs more than luck and aces to turn a profit.

Any time we walk into something new we have the questions in our mind, “What will happen? Will it work out? What did I do?” But the truth is, all questions are valid, but the things I’ve been screaming about for weeks and months now are valid as well. For months I’ve been on a quest to make something big happen out of myself. I’ve been telling myself that sooner or later I will be forced to make a choice in my life. Will I remain the young and inexperienced cryer forever, or will I get up and get to work? I told myself, “I need to stand on a solid ground of belief in Hashem in order for me to leap into the choice and stick to the choice throughout the ups and downs.”

I had so many thoughts that were all “the calm before the storm.” They were theories and fluff before the action. Taking action creates those knots in the stomach and forms those pits that are relentless, but if I want to own a building and collect clean revenue each month I must deal with tenants and broken pipes at 3am. It is simply part of what I need to do. I just wasn’t prepared for the feelings. Those feelings that arise at this point in the choice aren’t unfamiliar; they are simply rarer than anger and sadness which seem to have been my buddies for way too long. So too am I much stronger in my mind as if this choice has taken it over and fortified me against all distractions that used to get their way with me way too often.

I am glad that I have taken this leap, with all the emotional investment that it carries. King David says in Tehillim 119:46, “And I will speak Your testimonies before kings, I will not be ashamed for the truth from me springs.” This takes courage and tenacity to get up before kings and dignitaries and say what you believe. David was so strong with his belief that nothing, nothing would shake him even the greatest and most elevated earthly people. The belief that he carried was the bedrock to his entire being, and so too must I be with mine.

The feelings that I am dealing with now haven’t been felt in a long time. I am fond of them and I am happy to be experiencing them again. They remind me of old times, times when I was driven to do things all day and not stop. I am so ready to escape those new habits that have layered on me like fats. Shake them all away and be great. Baruch Hashem that He has led me to this moment. May He be there with me to see me through to the end, so that I come out bigger, better, and stronger so that I can amplify His name among the people of earth.

Now you may ask, what have I done so courageously crazy now? The simple answer is, “I committed myself to one thing instead of being a jack of all trades.” There are so many things that are yelling and screaming at me, “Come to me! Focus on me!” But how can I ever move forward if I’m only widening my road and not taking any steps forward? There has to be a solid push forward so that my view can change, and that only comes with commitment.

How does one commit? Some say that a pretty good tool to use for this is money. I agree, it is a great motivator. Although some think that being in debt and not having a penny is motivator enough for one to change their situation, I find that spending money and putting your money where your mouth is that is truly the true motivator money has to offer.

But there is more. You can write down what you want of yourself, speak to a good friend who can set your mind straight and allow it to shut its wildness for a while so that you can collect your thoughts and come to a clear conclusion about what your next step must be. The word היסח הדעת which we find in the Gemara in Sanhedrin 97a, “Three things show up only through היסח הדעת, Mashiach, Finding something lost, and a scorpions bite…” The simple explanation of these words are that the mind is completely distracted and removed, but if we look at it a little bit deeper you will notice that the word סח actually means “Talk.” Hesech Hadaas means that the brain just doesn’t shut off and it talks and talks and talks…

And there is even more one can do to commit. Have faith, Daven, and have faith. As the Gemara in Brachos 32b notes the Pasuk in Tehillim 27:14, “Repeat and repeat that His hope is near, Salvation and dreams will surely appear.” Hashem puts us into situations we don’t actually know how we ended up in. We may tell ourselves the entire story over and over again, but somehow we have been pulled into a situation that is now our reality. Seeing Hashem’s hand in this is the best and quickest way to be committed to the cause. We no longer have a choice in the matter since our name and initials are signed across the contract. The question now is, “Will you follow through?”

Ki Savo. Hashem promises us that we will be brought into the land. It all sounds nice and dandy and it is one of the amazing things Hashem has done and still does for us. He gave us the land and the opportunity to serve Him from a place of abundance and peace. But this lifestyle requires us to be His servants with happy hearts. As the Mishna in Avos 1:3 teaches us, “Do not be like servants who serve their master in order to receive reward.” We are trained from early on that we are here to serve Him from a place of gratitude. Our first fruits, Bikkurim and Maaser, are brought to the Beis Hamikdash with joyous smiles and melodious tunes. We are grateful for our lot and excited about our portion.

The life we were given and the contracts we have signed aren’t burdens that should bog us down with pits and knots in our stomachs. They are the strongest motivators to accept the plan Hashem has for us. It is our belief that Hashem runs our lives and therefore it is our duty to keep this belief alive throughout every situation in life. With this belief we must take chances and take leaps of faith, and keep the belief alive all throughout. But even more, with belief we stride with gratefulness toward Hashem in the Beis Hamikdash as we deliver our life’s accomplishments to Him on a golden platter with eternal thankfulness.

Crazy or Stupid? Stupid can’t be fixed, crazy can be proven to be correct. All it takes is proper belief and a happy spirit. 28:34: “And you’ll be crazy from your eyes’ visions… 28:47: “All this for you have not served Hashem with Simcha and Tuv Levav, happiness and a good heart.” Crazy or not, here we come!

Good Shabbos

Duvi Lemmer

LemmerHypnotherapy.com