Leaked: Bibi’s UN Speech or at Least the Version I think Would Be Awesome: A Mash Up of this Summer’s Greatest Hits…Wiggle, Wiggle

Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu is set to give yet another UN speech this week. It will probably be focused on the evil-doers of IS (Islamic State), and other crazies like Hamas, or even the friendly moderate who cries genocide, Fatah’s leading man, Abu Mazen. But how much of this can any of us really take seriously, when it comes to legitimate war and peace talk?
netanyahu_un_bomb_cartoon_2012_09_28Remember Bibi’s famous bomb diagram at yet another exhausting round of UN talks? Was the visual aid just a way to get the world to pay attention? Or was he laughing along with us at the credibility of the washed-up organization and the real power it has towards any kind of real change?

If the latter is true, than I would like to suggest that Bibi take a play from his own book and rather than give the trite old speech we are all used to, he instead uses the hits of the summer to express his longing for peace in the Middle East.

I give you, Bibi’s Speech as written by the hits of the summer of 2014:

“I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath. Afraid to rock the boat and make a mess. So I sat quietly. Agreed politely. I guess I forgot I had a choice. I let you push me pass the breaking point. I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything. You held me down but I got up. Already pushing off the dust. You hear my voice, you hear that sound. Like thunder gonna shake the ground. You held me down, but I got up. Get ready cause I’ve had enough. I see it all. I see it now. I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire. Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar. Louder, louder than a lion. Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar.  (Katy Perry, Roar)

It might seem crazy what I’m about to say. Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break. I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space. With the air, like I don’t care baby by the way. Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah, well, give me all you got, and don’t hold it back. Yeah, well, I should probably warn you I’ll be just fine, yeah, no offense to you, don’t waste your time. Here’s why. Because I’m happy. (Pharrell Williams, Happy)

Hey baby even though I hate ya! I wanna love ya! I want you! And even though I can’t forgive you. I really want ta…Head in the clouds. Got no weight on my shoulders. I should be wiser, and realize that I’ve got (whisper) One less problem without ya! I got! One less problem without ya! I got! One less problem without ya! I let you go. Let you back. I finally learned my lesson! No half-stepping. Either you want it or you just plain’. I’m listening to you knowin’. I can’t believe what you’re sayin’. There’s a million you’s baby boo. So don’t be dumb. I got 99 problems. But you won’t be one. Like what! (Ariana Grande – Problem ft. Iggy Azalea)

What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out. You’ve got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down. My head’s under water, but I’m breathing fine. You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind…You’re my downfall, you’re my muse. My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues. Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts. Risking it all, though it’s hard. (John Legend, All of Me)

Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay? Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way? I ain’t tryna do what everybody else doing. Just cause everybody doing what they all do. If one thing I know, I’ll fall but I’ll grow. I’m walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home. So am I wrong, for thinking that we could be something for real?Now am I wrong, for trying to reach the things that I can’t see? Am I tripping for having a vision? My prediction: I’mma be on the top of the world…Fight for yours and don’t let go, don’t let them compare you, no. Don’t worry, you’re not alone, that’s just how we feel. (Nico & Vinz – Am I Wrong)

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle

Take a bow (take a bow, take a bow, take a bow). It’s just one thing that’s killing me. How’d you get that in them jeans?

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle (Jason Derulo, Wiggle feat. Snoop Dogg)”

About the Author
Larry David once said, 'I'm not an inventor. I'm an improver. I improve things that are broken.' Whether it’s improvisation, comedy sketch, or stand up, Molly Livingstone is improving life in Israel one chuckle at a time, with an honest and hilarious view of the Holy Land.