Carol Green Ungar
Carol Green Ungar

Lessons from Eve

Poor Eve the first woman. First, she gets herself and her hubby expelled from the Garden of Eden. Then her firstborn slays his younger brother– brutally. The Midrash states that Cain pelted every inch of his brother’s body with stones.

How did Eve cope? Did she get out of bed?  Ger therapy? Go on meds?  Were there therapists back then?

The Torah doesn’t share this information There’s not one word about Eve’s reaction. Even more amazing is the lack of blame–no Freudian analysis to  draws a direct line between poor parenting and adult failures.

What the Torah is teaching us here is that  adult children are their own people. Their choices, good and reprehensible belong to them

This is a lesson we need to learn. Too many of us are overly enmeshed with our own adult children.. We are terrified of   of our kids’  emergent selves and their propensity to make mistakes. Just listen to Julia Haas of My UnOrthodox Life telling her 30 year old daughter not to have babies. Since when does a mother belong in her adult daughter’s marital bed!

A parent is tasked with raising kids. We must do our best to feed clothe educate and nurture them when they are young. Once they have grown that’s over and  it’s time to cut the umbilical cord and follow Eve’s example and  give them over to the third partner in their creation, Hashem.

About the Author
Carol Ungar is a prize-winning author who writes from the Judean Hills.
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