The Blogs: Let them know!

Let them know!

We had just finished a long Rosh Hashana davening when I was approached by a man in the shul who I did not know. He told me,” You have no idea how much joy you just brought to my mother!” Thoroughly perplexed, he went on to explain that during the davening he saw that I had the sefer “Pischei Shearim” by Rabbi Yitzchok Isaac Chaver (the student of the student of the Gra) placed by my side. And this is where our story begins.

A number of years ago, when the sefer was republished by Rabbi Mendel Kessin it was his mother and her family who sponsored the new edition. They were not “rolling in the dough” and sponsoring the sefer required much effort and ‘mesiras nefesh” on their part. But since then about 20 years had passed and the mother had not heard too much about the sefer. Pischei Shearim is a kaballistic work and by its nature is not a best seller even though it is a work of incredible profundity and elucidation. However, suddenly on Rosh Hashanah, this woman who was sitting right behind me (at the shul we davened at there is a one way mechitza where the women can see the men but not vica versa) suddenly saw somebody learning from the sefer that she had toiled so greatly to produce. Some of the fruits of her labors were shown to her. This brought her great joy!

In Parshas Behaaloscha in the book of Bamidbar, our great leader Moshe Rabbeinu is just about at the point of a nervous breakdown. The incessant complaining of the Jewish people had become too much for him, that he asks Hashem to take his life r’l. In response, Hashem tells him to gather 70 sages from the Jewish people and see how his prophetic powers will extend to them as well. How did this comfort Moshe Rabenu? Well, Rabbi Jonathon Sacks, the late chief Rabbi of England, explains that Hashem was showing Moshe Rabenu a little bit of how impactful he was. He saw with his own eyes how the great spiritual light he achieved was illuminating others. At his moment of great duress this brought Moshe Rabenu great comfort.

Many people, whether they realize or not, have had a great impact on our respective lives. But how many of them know about it-even just a little bit? Here are a few suggestions of ways to express to people how much we appreciate their effort. Let them know!

Have you ever read a good book? Baruch Hashem, we live in a generation in which so many great books are coming out regularly. Many of the authors of these books are contemporaries. How about sending them a letter when you finish the book telling them how much you enjoyed it? To put out a book requires gigantic effort on the part of the author. At the very least shouldn’t we let them know that we appreciated it?
For those of us blessed with children, baruch Hashem, it is good from time to time to point out their positive points and express our appreciation for what they do. This is an incredible form of positive reinforcement and encourages them to continue with their positive behavior. My mother suggested that perhaps when we bless our kids Friday night we should also tell them something that we are proud of that they did.
For those of us blessed to have living parents and teachers it is never too late to stop and let them know how much we appreciate what they have done for us. A short letter in which we enumerate some examples can mean the world to them. Once after a long ’tisch’ someone came up to the Klausenberger Rebbe and thanked him for conducting a wonderful ’tisch”. The Gabbai promptly interrupted him in the middle and said, ” The Rebbe does not need your compliments.” To which the Rebbe responded, ” Thank you for sharing your compliment. It means a lot to me and gives me chizuk.”

So we all can use some genuine praise-even parents and teachers. And, bezrat Hashem, in the merit of us revealing our hidden love and appreciation for others, so too will Hashem Yisborach reveal His hidden love for us!

Gmar Chatima Tova!

-Ariel