Looking Foolish And Old

I know I’m constantly harping about age these days. My husband’s 80th birthday a few weeks ago has been a great shehecheyanu moment and a real bucket of ice water! How did this happen so fast? Where did those years go? The shock is profound. Ad 120!

True there’s some longevity in my family but not so much in his. And to call him healthy would be a plain lie. .He’s equipped with an ICD (defibrillator) and listening to him walk up a slight upgrade sounds like an X rated movie.

But he’s not even what I’m thinking about now. I’m thinking about all those folks I see on TV. The ones who are no longer in their 20’s for example. I’m not talking about entertainment light either. I’m focused on people like Trump and all the talking heads on FOX and CNN. Do you ever really look at these people?:Almost every single one of them (maybe exclude some of the professors and VP Pence, who gets no points from me for his gray hair), male and female, dye their hair. A lot of them look really ridiculous. Just gaze at a head full of jet black hair accompanying a wrinkled face. Or stare at the long blond locks with the cats’ eyes of too many facelifts. Yes. Men too.

I recently saw a guy named Steve Wynn, who’s being charged with abusing women. I tell you, he’s scary! He’s around 75 and his mop is dyed black curls. He’s truly grotesque looking and I think being in the same room with him is itself a form of abuse. What is wrong with some of these people? Don’t they look in the mirrors and see what they look like?

Then there’s our president. Enough said there! His hair is so unpresidential that one doesn’t have to look further. At least Bibi, Trump’s buddy for now and today, has a more serious coif. Although I don’t believe what he says, his “do” makes him seem more statesmanlike.

And don’t think I’m picking on men. I’m no fashionista but I think that if the gals who insist on dying their hair until their funerals would rethink their options, they’d be better off. Why not, at least, if you dye before you die, leave some streaks of gray? As soon as you combine a total dye job with 70 or more years of living, you’re fooling only yourself. Same is true of 60.

Me, I’m gray all the way. I used to color my hair but it’s a pain. It grows out and keeps you glued to doing it over and over again. Sort of addictive. I finally made the big decision that take me gray or leave me out of your life. I know you can easily do that!

Another thing with women though, and this is relatively recent, is that serious women (like news anchors and analysts, for example) are showing a lot of cleavage. I watch CNN and see these ladies pushing their breasts into the lens and I wonder what they’re doing. It’s hard not to be distracted, and not because I find them sexy. I’m not accusing them of trying to be defiant or provocative in the wake of all the sexual abuse charges against men. But, if a man walked onto my TV screen in a Speedo, would I be able to take anything he said seriously? You bet your booties I wouldn’t and neither would you.

I know breasts are important to both men and women. Often I think they’re too important. Women go through dangerous and painful hoops to reconstruct breasts which have been removed because of cancer. This causes lots of pain and other consequences that could be completely avoided if they just went flat. Like me, for instance.

But yet these gals on TV are pushing their breasts at us. How come? I don’t know but look and notice. Can you imagine, for example, Justice Ginsburg with cleavage? Nah. Neither can I.

Perhaps the very worst offenders in the looking ridiculous column are the men with hairpieces. Please. If you’re a male and reading this, get rid of it. It looks absurd. It takes away your gravitas. And absolutely everyone who sees you knows immediately that you’re carrying. Think about your family tree. Can you just imagine Bubby and Zayde coming over from Europe in steerage and sacrificing for decades so you could make it in the new world, and then seeing you looking like a real jerk with a hairpiece. For their sake, get rid of it. You guys in Israel have a better solution. Shaving the head is kind of cute…….if you’re not worried about melanoma that is.

You’re free to disagree with me on all of the above. But I’m right.

About the Author
Rosanne Skopp is a wife, mother of four, grandmother of fourteen, and great-grandmother of three. She is a graduate of Rutgers University and travels back and forth between homes in New Jersey and Israel. She is currently writing a family history.