Looking to make some extra $$$, Al-Qaeda may have the answer

If you are looking to make some money and can work flexible hours you may want to check out the latest offer from Al-Qaeda. An audio produced by the group’s military arm the al-Malahem Foundation  announced today that it will offer 3 kilograms of gold worth $160,000 to anyone who is able to kill the current US Ambassador to Yemen, Gerald M. Feierstein. The bounties have been created in order to encourage local Jihad activities following the terrorist attack in Libya that killed four US officials, including the Libyan Ambassador Chris Stevens. The branch of Al-Qaeda in Yemen is widely accepted as the most dangerous branch in the world.

If killing the Ambassador seems like too much of a tall order for you, do not worry. There is also a current offer of $23,000 to kill any American soldier in Yemen. It is advised however, that you read the small print on this offer which states that the offer is valid only for 6 months, which is important to bare in mind if you were planning on carrying out the attack after June 2013.

The US have a more attractive offer available, to kill the Pakistani terror leader Hafiz Saeed. The US have placed a $10 million bounty on his head in response to his having masterminded the 2008 Mumbai bombings which left 160 people dead. Hafiz recently made headlines oddly enough for wanting to send aid to the US following Hurricane Sandy. Hafiz, The founder of the Lashkar-e-Taiba group offered to send food, medicine, doctors and volunteers over to America to help the battered East Coast, an offer which the US respectfully declined. Hafiz in a public rally recently stated that the US should give the $10 million bounty to him as he is willing to give up his own location!

If you are looking to make a career out of bounty killings, I would have to recommend the US as an employer. Since 1984, the US have run a program called “Rewards for Justice”. In this program you can receive money simply for assisting the US State’s Bureau of Diplomatic Security. The bounty program was enhanced significantly under the Patriot Act in 2001. In most cases rewards are between $20,000 to $200,000 and you can trust them to pay on time.

The US has already paid over $77 million in this program which offered $25 million for information relating to Bin Laden. Unfortunately the Bin Laden fee was a one off and the bounties are now capped at $5 million. The marketing methods for this program however are not so successful, when the US was looking for Bin Laden they promoted their “Rewards for Justice” program by dropping matchbooks across Afghanistan which included their website and email address, an effort which was largely unsuccessful due to the Taliban regimes ban on computers.

Being Jewish, I personally wanted to know how I could make money from both Al-Qaeda and the US at the same time and my answer came in the form of a Danish double agent named Morten Storm. This petty Danish criminal was recently turned into a double agent by the CIA. Morten who had long been operating in radical Islamic circles in Yemen was trusted to find a wife for one of Al-Qaeda’s most wanted Anwar al-Awlaki. Unknown to the Dane’s Al-Qaeda brothers, Morten contacted the Danish government in 2006 and was subsequently put in touch with the CIA. Morten found a Croatian wife for al-Awlaki and through that wife the CIA were able to track al-Awlaki down for which Morten was handsomely rewarded with a briefcase containing $250,000.

Working for Al Qaeda has recently become more accessible in the region as according to The Guardian they now operate in Syria. The Al-Qaeda fighters are considered to be some of the best fighters in the current rebel forces in Syria.  Although having travelled all the way from the likes of Pakistan, Bangladesh and Yemen to fight for the Free Syria Army they have apparently ended up fighting with the local Islamists over the lack of organization and discipline in the FSA. According to Al Jazeera, Al-Qaeda have even started their own training camps in Syria so that you can get a proper terrorist education before fighting.

If you are looking to make a quick buck with the organization it is advised that you kidnap someone. The average ransom per person is estimated at around $4.5 million. In 2010 the ransom sum for French citizens captured in Niger was $113 million. It is also strongly advised that in order to get a good ransom you kidnap a European and never kidnap anyone from the UK or US as they are the most likely to respond with military action