Love Letter to Hostage Square

The first time I met you
was on Day 100
We said
How can it be a hundred days
And they’re still not back
You were so full of people
I could barely see you
Yasmine Moalem sang יחפים
A soft rain fell
I ducked under a stranger’s umbrella
As we all tried to find shelter

We met again months later
Shiri and
Kfir and
Ariel’s
Bodies had just been returned
It was excruciating
My nervous system was reset
To October 7th
I knew you were the only one I could bear to see
I caught the end of the ceremony
Hanan Ben Ari sang Hatikva
The crowd thinned out
And I truly saw you for the first time
The art
The signs
The love
The pain
The hope
A young religious soldier sat at the piano
That proclaimed in big yellow letters
You Are Not Alone
I believed it
He played soulfully
A crowd gathered
People sang along
People wept
He finished the song to shouts of
Another song!
He obliged
The crowd grew
No one was letting him leave anytime soon
Calling out their requests
We sang and cried
Under the lights of the city sky
The grief shock horror sadness
Flooded me
And passed through me
You were the only one that could hold me

After that I couldn’t stay away
I waited all week til we could be together
Tuesday nights
Counting down the days
Holding it together
You allowed me to feel the pain
While filling me with hope
We’d sit in a circle
Around a relative
And bear witness
And ask questions
And share
A woman stands and addresses
Evyatar David’s cousin
Who is leading the circle
I just need you to know
She says
I am from a religious settlement
And I came here to tell you
That those of us who are for the war
Are not against the hostages
We pray for them at every moment
We cry for them
We love them
We want to see them home
He looks at her
Thank you
He says

After the circles
We would sing
And pray
And cry
Together
The families at your heart

Their giant hearts and crazy hope
Gave me enough
Faith in humanity
To get through another week

You guided me through the year
When I didn’t know how to celebrate Purim
In our broken world
I came to you for Megilat Esther
So your families could teach me
to hold
Endless pain
And endless hope
I held them together in my arms
As you held me

I came erev Sukkot
For a prayer rally
The Deal
Days away from being signed
Awed
As always
By the families
Still hoping still believing still waiting
Laser focused
729 days
Of faith
Of not letting us forget
We cried out to the Heavens
Let this be the end
Bring them home

Erev Simchat Torah
Two years after the brink
Of the darkest day
And it’s happening
It’s happening?
Can this really be happening
The first four
Are in the hands of the IDF
We are like dreamers
You are jubilant
Radiant
Bursting with people
We are all glowing
Beautiful
High
Shining with the late summer sun
There is music
Laughter
Cheers
Streams of tears
Sweet release
And I can’t believe I’m standing here
on this hallowed ground
Crying tears of joy
And there are helicopters overhead
Carrying our brothers home
And of course
They circle above you
Of course
You are the first to welcome them
We jump and wave and laugh and erupt with cries of joy
Reaching toward the sky
And maybe all your pain
Has carved the space
To hold this joy
And I don’t know what will happen tomorrow
But today
I get to hear you laugh and sing
And we hold hands and welcome them home
And no matter what happens tomorrow
My eyes will have seen this miracle
I will know the sound of your laughter
And right now
That’s enough