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Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews -- For those who like their news and truths frank and sharp

Negativity can be good

Learn to say no as if you hand someone the moon.

Say no to your kids if they’d hurt themselves or their relations with others.

Mutually setting limits with children makes them feel loved.

Pull your kids with one hand closer, push them away with the other.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Pessimist advice can save lives.

Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do to you.

Less permissiveness can give a much better democracy.

Notice red flags about someone to prevent abuse and worse.

Crying heals and helps us to set new, more fitting goals.

Hopelessness and depression can help us prioritize healing old hurts.

Contemplating a bad reality can fuel positive, protective action.

Being strict in one area always brings mildness in another area.

Don’t discard anyone. The wicked can suddenly turn saints.

Pending death or disaster can push us finally (!) to improve.

Privately sharing your concerns with another can improve the relationship.

Publicizing something really bad can be the only way to improve it.

Too nice to the cruel works out as too cruel to the nice.

Discomfort can motivate us to be humble, work hard, and be generous.

Terrible memories may help our empathy with others in the dump.

Who’s perfect cannot personally improve.

In a perfect world, there are no meaningful goals to work for.

Life is standing on a down escalator. Passivity gives deterioration.

Working hard builds strength, resilience, and character.

A bit of sour makes the sweet more palatably, and a bit of sweet the sour.

Appreciating only what you have makes you satisfied and happy.

Feeling good is a malicious goal. It is benign as a side effect of our actions.

Sternness can create space for mercy.

There is wiggle room in Don’t be so sure it won’t happen.

Learn from everyone. From villains, we can learn what not to do.

Even prostitutes can say no, so the more so you can.

Never say never.

A No can be the starting point of negotiations.

When a woman says no, she typically means no.

Tell everyone that you won’t tell anyone you fainted in the supermarket.

No one is perfect means that you don’t need to be a perfectionist.

Less is more.

Carefree brainstorming may give the best ideas.

Silence is golden.

Don’t just do something. Just sit there.

Sometimes, it’s best to cut your losses.

There’s no failure like having missed the plane that crashed.

Only breadcrumbs are bread too.

If you don’t know how to give, you don’t know how to have.

Mistakes are the best teachers.

Fighting a setback can make you end up better than without it.

No setback can ever prove that now all is lost.

Exclusivity can make what you have better.

Pain and fear can warn you and save your life.

Without suffering, no humor, no healing.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, an almost daily blog contributor to the Times of Israel, and previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. He doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit about what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and education contribute to his visions. * To find less-recent posts on subject XXX among his over 1550 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. Yet, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people who don't deserve that. He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust, and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. He loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, anti-elitism, anti-bigotry and supremacy, for Zionism, Intersectionality, and non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, empowering therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids non-violently. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's being a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. He lives with his library in Jerusalem. Feel free to contact him. * His writing has been made possible by a (second-generation) Holocaust survivors' allowance from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble.
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