Now and Then

I was not a very sporty kid growing up. But, I knew that I hated being picked last for Gym class teams. The same kids would always be picked to be team captains. And, they would always choose their best friends or pals to be the first kids on the team. Whether those kids were great sportsmen or sportswomen did not matter. What mattered was the fact that they had their best friends with them and THEN they would choose the best sporty kids in the bunch.

My friends were never the Team Captains, and so…whenever it was time to choose teams, I seemed to be one of the last to be chosen for a team. I always eagerly waited, and told myself “Don’t expect much” or “The best is saved for last”. But, time and again…I was never one of the first to be added to the team.

I wish I could tell you that I ran home, and began working out …bulking up myself to compete and be the Team Captain. But, I did not. I went home, and took walks with the dog, drew pictures, created songs on BASIC on my Apple IIE computer, listened to my mix tapes, and just continued to be a kid. “So what?” I told myself, “I was not chosen to be on the best sport team today….It just does not matter.” I knew that I was happy, and I knew that Gym class was not going to define me. There were bigger fish to fry in my life than Miss Pat’s sports class.

As I grew older, and became a Camp Hatikvah counselor, the scenario would play out again as I saw teams being chosen for Baseball, Soccer, Nucomb, Volleyball….and more. It pained me to see the same girls being Team Captains, choosing the same teams. While other girls, who were not considered the “leaders” were always shoved aside…chosen last. Of course, none of them complained. But, I saw the wince on their faces, the shrugged shoulders, and I knew…I just knew that feeling.

So, I told my co-counselors one morning that we were going to “shake it up” today, and try something different. The non-sporty kids were going to be chosen as Team Captains. I will never forget the looks on their faces when we called their names to step up and choose their teams for Nucumb one afternoon. There was a look of “Who? Me?” One girl said, “But, why?” And, I replied “Today is YOUR day to choose the team! Make it a good one!”

The smiles on those girls’ faces were one of elation and pride. Of course, they chose their less sporty friends first. There were fist-bumps and hi-fives, and there were dirty looks from the usual Team Captains. “What is going on?” I saw one whispering to another girl in the crowd of unchosen team members.

“This is working!” I whispered to my co-counselor. “Maybe this is going to be our best Nucomb game team yet! My co-counselor was not so sure, but she said “Whatever you say, Ariel…Let’s see….”

And, suddenly we had a very different lineup of girls. The new Team Captains took their positions very seriously and set up their team positions behind the net with renewed confidence and bravado.

The first ball from Team A was hit across the net and immediately caught. One point for Team B immediately ensued. And, Team A immediately shouted, “That’s OK, Ashley, you got this!” Everyone sang, “N I C E, T R Y, That’s the way we spell NICE TRY! NICE TRY! NICE TRY, NICE TRY.” Ashley’s Team Captain shouted “You got this Ashley, next time we will get another chance! No worries!” Her teammates cheered Ashley on and patted her on the back, and she felt like a superstar. No one remembered that only two days ago Ashley had the final ball, and dropped it…and the wrath of her team had caused her to run away in tears that could not be consoled for an hour after the game. NOW, Ashley had a second chance…she was reborn. Simply because there was a newfound confidence in her step and a belief that her team had her back.

I will remember that game forever, it was a pivotal moment for me as a counselor, as a future Mom, and as a future teacher. It reminded me how fragile our psyche can be and how sometimes it is really important to be inclusive of everyone. No one person in a sports team should be made to feel all-important. It is a team of people who work together to make the team successful. This is a lesson in sports, and in life.

This is the approach I take in life. I find that kid…that student….that child…and I choose him or her to help me with an important task, take on a challenging article to read or dream up a delectable dinner meal. I then pass the torch to that kid/student/child and let him or her take the reins. It is their rodeo, not mine. It is something that they can take ownership of, guide themselves, and be proud of.

The results of those amazing tasks are incredibly awesome. And, the life lessons that are learned are entirely unforgettable. The self-confidence built upon this type of change is legendary. These kids are never the same after rising to the challenge that they never could have imagined for themselves. They are confident, they are creative, and they are winners in the game of life that has been spun for them.

As I reflect upon the current Hostage Releases of the 239 Kidnapped civilians and soldiers on October 7th, I am in awe. These women, children, and international hostages were snatched from their lives in a harrowing tale. Many of them were placed in horrid conditions beyond their worst nightmares. Some thought they were imprisoned for a year, not the 51 days until they were freed. But, somehow they kept strong. They held onto faith and hoped that they would one day be released.

We also kept strong from the sidelines. I read an article about a young woman, named Shira Havron, who was on a trip to London when the war broke out. She knew that her family lived in the area of Gaza, and she feared the worst. She immediately joined her family’s struggle, after finding that eleven family members were kidnapped or missing. She was a University student on vacation, who could have just stayed on her trip in London…watching from the sidelines, but she did not. She made her way to Brussels, where she knew that the Kidnapped victims needed their voices to be heard.

Shira visited the EU in Brussels on October 11th, to plead the case for the Kidnapped victims. She pleaded her case, imploring them to help the Kidnapped victims come home. She said “I grew up on the values of equality and humanity for everyone, and it’s the same, it’s never changed…..eleven members of my family, half of my family are missing! My heart is with the other families who suffer the same situation…” (interview October 11, 2023, DW News). She continued to state that once it is done, and the Kidnapped victims are returned she wants peace for all, for it is a “basic Human Right. This is a very important message, and we have to remember it!” (continued conversation from (11/10/23, DW interview.).

Shira’s family has lived in Be’eri for generations. Her grandfather, Avraham, moved to Israel when he was 7 years old. His family fled Nazi Germany in the 1930s and fled to Israel. In 1947, Avraham and his wife Rina, founded Kibbutz Be’eri. Both of Shira’s grandparents had passed away prior to October 7th. “I thank God that they did not have to see this” Shira Havron stated in an interview for NBC (Shechter, A. “” 13/10/23.)

Shira had originally been informed that 13 family members were missing, and 3 were murdered. Nine were kidnapped, and eight have been released since Saturday, November —. She said that it is incredible “relief, but enormous heartbreak…from this trauma” (MSNBC interview 11/29/23). She continues to say that the only victory is to continue to release more hostages, and keep fighting for their release.

This woman took it upon herself to go beyond the pale and make a difference. She was a quiet, and unassuming University student…busy with the everyday life of a student. And, suddenly she became a Team Captain of the Kidnapped Victims Cause. She is the face of the press to the English-speaking populations abroad. She is the face that we all know and trust when wanting to know what is truly happening with our fight for their release. She made a simple choice and she did not back down. She is not only doing this for her family but for countless others.

Shira Havron is a Modern Day Hero. If she was with me, back in my Camp Hatikvah days…I would have chosen her as my Team Captain any day. She is a warrior, and I think this is definitely only the beginning of this powerhouse. Her grandparents would be proud!

Now and Then. We must be present with every minutia of data we can get from our loved ones in Gaza…

I know it’s true
It’s all because of you
And if I make it through
It’s all because of you
And now and then
If we must start again
Well, we will know for sure
That I will love you
Now and then
I miss you
Oh, now and then
I want you to be there for me
Always to return to me
I know it’s true
It’s all because of you
And if you go away
I know you’ll never stay
Now and then
I miss you
Oh, now and then
I want you to be there for me
I know it’s true
It’s all because of you
And if I make it through
It’s all because of you

(Lennon, John, 1977, Mix-Tape of Lennon’s remastered and released for Apple Music November 2, 2023).

Yes, Shira, I think that John Lennon was somehow writing to your future self and your cause when he wrote this random Mix-Tape that just happened to appear during this War of Swords. God has His infinite wisdom. He knew we needed this song, and he knew we needed you to help guide us through this crisis. It is because of you, Shira, the other families, and the millions of others who support this important cause that we are going to make it through this crisis. Thank you. Now and Then we need you to be there for us all.