Emanuel Shahaf
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OCJ – Obsessive Compulsive Jewishness

We are the Jews and this is our land. And we are not racist. And we are not ethnocentric. And we are not xenophobes. Really?

We live in the Jewish State of the Jewish people with Jerusalem as capital of the Jewish people who are protected by the Jewish army of the Jewish people. Our Jewish Prime MInister demands that the Jewish State must be recognized as the Jewish Nation State of the Jewish People.

Our Jewish Minister of Education and our Rabbis insist that this Jewish state must develop among all its Jewish citiziens, particularly its Jewish students, Jewish awareness and a deep understanding of Jewish tradition and Jewish heritage.

To maintain our ever more Jewish and ever less democratic state we must teach our Jewish children mainly Jewish history so they know their Jewish background and remain Jewish forever and ever. We must marry them off in Jewish weddings to Jewish partners to keep the Jews Jewish.

We must circumcise our Jewish male offspring as a sign of Jewishness and we must protect our Jewish female offspring so no non-Jew can lay his hands on them. We must maintain Jewish diets eating kosher Jewish food and keep armies of Jewish kashrut supervisors to make sure all food remains kosher and Jewish. We must play soccer in Jewish sports clubs where only Jews can play.

We must make sure that our Jewish country doesn’t get too many non-Jewish visitors and we must make the lives of non-Jewish refugees who end up here as miserable as possible to maintain our Jewishness and to prevent many more from coming here and making life difficult for the Jews.

We must make sure that our apartments are rented out to Jews only and that our land is sold to Jews only and that our settlements in Judaea and Samaria are settled by Jews only and our Jewish cities will have only Jewish inhabitants. We must try to make sure  that our Jewish companies employ only Jews and our Jewish patients are preferrably attended to by Jewish doctors or Jewish psychologist practicing Jewish psychology.

Our Jewish Minister of the Economy wants us to show zero tolerance to non-Jews who dare to express their non-Jewish aspirations. His Jewish Home party will make sure that anybody who is not Jewish and wants to convert will continue to have to pass through the gates of hell before he or she can even think of becoming Jewish. We have to make sure that all our political parties are mainly Jewish and to do that we will ratchet up the threshold for the minimum percentage of votes required for a party to be represented. Our Jewish lawmakers will legislate Jewish laws to limit the abilitiy of non Jews to speak their mind, settle the land, work for a living wage, live amongst us and be what they want to be.

And we must turn to Jewish philanthropists in Jewish communities all over the Jewish world to ask them do donate to the Jewish state so they have a place to go to once their Jewishness is not appreciated anymore in the places that they live. Because we are the Jews and this is our land. And we are not racist. And we are not ethnocentric. And we are not xenophobes. And we are tolerant and generous and gracious and good. And to hell with the goyim.

About the Author
The author served in the Prime Minister’s Office as a member of the intelligence community, is Vice Chairman of the Israel-Indonesia Chamber of Commerce, Vice-Chairman of the Israeli-German Society (IDG), Co-Chair of the Federation Movement (, member of the council at and author of "Identity: The Quest for Israel's Future".