On Becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Last week was particularly sad in Israel and in the Diaspora: Two soldiers, Sgt. Yosef Yehuda Chirak and Sgt. Danilo Mocanu, were killed in Gaza, in an operation that seems increasingly futile. On Thursday evening, a young couple, Yaron Lischinsky and Sarah Milgrim, who were about to be engaged, were murdered just outside of the Jewish Museum in Washington, DC. They worked at the embassy of Israel and were assassinated as they left an event hosted by the American Jewish Committee.  Their murderer kept shouting “Free Palestine” when he was arrested by the police. In Doha, no progress was made last week in the discussions on a deal for the release of the hostages, and the Israeli delegation was ordered back to Israel without results.

In this low-spirited disposition, I walked into the synagogue of “Hod ve-Hadar“, the Masorti congregation in my city of Kfar Saba, to take part in a “Bar/Bat Mitzvah for Children with Disabilities” ceremony. This event takes place from time to time in many Masorti synagogues. When I entered the prayer hall (somewhat late, I must admit) the most striking thing I encountered was a lovely prayer conducted by Rabbi Judith Edelman-Green. With her guitar, she led a prayer of five excited Bnei and Bnot Mitzvah that was held in a festive and joyful atmosphere, as they were joined by the youngsters’ schoolteachers, families, and friends.

What makes the Bnei and Bnot Mitzvah I met, who were all festively dressed, unique was that they are defined as “Children with Disabilities”. They all attend a special school established by the Ministry of Education. Many Orthodox communities see them as exempt from observing mitzvot including being called up to the Torah.

However, the Masorti (Conservative) movement chose not to give up on these young individuals and prevent them from experiencing their joyful admittance ceremony into the Jewish community, but rather to adjust the ceremony to their individual abilities and needs. The program works with schools for youngsters with intellectual developmental disabilities, cerebral palsy, autism, and behavioral disorders.

For this purpose, a four-month structured program was formulated which included the acquaintance with Jewish principles, customs, values, and prayers. These components of Jewish life were adapted to the special abilities and needs of each and every youngster. Thus, the movement published an elegant siddur (the Jewish prayer book). The outcome is a beautiful, unique accessible book utilizing large fonts, illustrative pictures, as well as symbols. Technological aids are also used for speech and prayer both during the lessons and the service itself. Another unique item used in the ceremony is a special Torah Scroll that, though handwritten traditionally by a scribe (Sofer Stam), is somewhat smaller in size and lighter in weight and can be carried by the youngsters themselves. However, the essence is always the patient and professional work of a dedicated team, made up of instructors trained by the Masorti movement, along with the endless effort and cooperation of the educational teams of the schools.

The ceremony at the “Hod Ve-Hadar” congregation in Kfar Saba was led by the program’s director and living spirit, Marianella Kreiman as well as members of the congregation who participated in the singing and chanting, prayer and Torah reading. The excited Bnei and Bnot Mitzvah went up to the Torah reading podium one by one, accompanied by their excited parents and grandparents. They all did marvelously well and were deservedly applauded by the congregation after each Aliyah.

The “Adraba Bar/Bat Mitzvah for Children with Disabilities” program has been going on for over 30 years, in the synagogues of the Masorti movement. This year, even with the challenges of the ongoing war, 20 schools are participating nationwide. Over the years over 5000 girls and boys from all walks of life and observance have participated in this project.

During this period, insights and lessons were collected and the methods for adjusting the ceremony according to the abilities of each student were improved, including the adoption of new technologies. Soon, a second edition of the Siddur will be produced, reflecting the experience acquired. The program is funded through contributions to the Masorti movement with parents paying a very symbolic fee.

Beyond the ostensibly official entry into the Jewish community, this project is a recognition of the equality of all members of the community, including those who have difficulties and need a guiding and supportive hand at various stages of the life path. This is just one step on a long road to integration into society and to living a useful and fulfilling life. The self-recognition of “I too am going to participate in the Torah service and have a bar/bat mitzvah like everybody else” may demonstrate to young people with special needs that there is always a way forward.

I congratulate those involved in this undertaking and encourage them to continue developing this heartwarming endeavor. I wish they would enable more and more youngsters with special needs to participate in this rite of passage of the Jewish people.