On curiosity

Have you noticed how some people always have questions and are open to new experiences and ideas, while others have a rather rigid way of thinking and don’t respond well to novelty? When showing something, even seemingly random, to a curious person, you’re going to see child-like wonder in their eyes. ”Whoa, I haven’t heard that before, cool stuff, thanks for sharing” or something along those lines is going to be their reply.

A rigid thinker is going to glare at you and say, ”Why are you showing me this? I don’t have time for your philosophizing,” or a variation thereof.

Rigid thinkers have their little routines and that’s it. Apparently, the reptilian part of our brain loves rituals and routines. Some people enjoy experimenting with food while others stick to what works for them and nothing more. I’m sure you know the type. We all have routines, of course, but rigid thinkers can be routine-oriented to the extreme. Think Groundhog Day.

It all depends on our background, of course. Are we from a religious background? Strict, without much, if any, contact with outsiders? Or more secular where exchanges of views with strangers are encouraged? Curious people often love asking questions but not necessarily answering them. Is that you? Welcome to the club. I love asking questions, detailed questions, but I’m not a fan of answering too many questions myself, unless these questions revolve around my favorite topics. You’re nodding. Yep. So again. Welcome to the club.

”You’re not interested in anything,” parents sometimes scoff at their children. I don’t believe there’s anyone with a modicum of intelligence who has no interest in anything whatesoever. Rather, the kids who get told that are afraid of sharing their interests with their parents for fear of being ridiculed and so on. Say you have a family of matter-of-fact, stereotypical (real scientists understand that curiosity is the spice of life and are never going to claim they know all about the world) scientists and their kid enjoys painting. ”Stop this nonsense, you’re going to need a real job.”  No wonder so many kids hide their hobbies and interests from their family, and even friends. Deep down, such parents are often envious of their children. Yes, it’s twisted but it happens. They don’t want their child to succeed. To get out of that small town. They want their child to be just like them. Just mediocre, maybe even somewhat smart, passes through life and doesn’t make waves. If the kid gets out of that small town in spite of all the parental pressure and ridicule to be just another guy, he or she is going to be a glaring example that another life is possible. And his or her parents or social circle or both are going to hate him for it.

Parents who ridicule their children are likely going to get what they want. Their kid is going to give up on his or her dreams just to please his or her parents. That spark of curiosity might be snuffed out forever. Same old story. A self-fulfilling prophecy. A life of frustration and failure. The parents then nod vigorously and say, ”Aha. We knew it all along. You’re a loser.”

But, in some cases, there are going to be children who turn adversity into strength. They are going to be deadset on succeeding as painters, for example. They are going to be curious what lies outside the mediocre mental barriers of their parents.

And then, one day, their focus and curiosity are going to pay off. Focus makes you disciplined and curiosity makes sure you ask the right questions and find the right people to help you succeed. What happens when a kid who was ridiculed becomes successful as the painter? Surprise surprise, the child’s parents are going to come crawling back, even praising their kid. At that point, the successful child is unlikely to want anything to do with his or her parents, because they were an obstacle and nothing else. And yet, the terrible parenting caused the kid to be even more curious and even more determined.

Look at reincarnation. Let’s suppose you incarnate with your memories intact in some other dimension. Let’s say your new parents know that you remember your past life and, of course, you remember your parents from that past life. But now, you have new parents who have a dramatically different idea of who you are supposed to be. They are from a different culture and have a different set of values. You were outspoken and assertive, and at times ungrateful? Who knows, it might get drilled out of you.

Your past life is gone and your past-life parents don’t exist in this new dimension. As such, you’re forced to adjust to a dramatically different reality and your new parents, with a touch of schadenfreude, enjoy watching you getting thought-reformed. Do they make sure you forget your past-life language, or as much of it as possible, and just hone Hebrew?

Curiosity, in this case, would be a part of the punishment where one would hark back to a long-lost life like a fleeting mirage.

Curiosity might have killed the cat but it’s going to help you grow. Curiosity is one of those  ”you either have it or you don’t” traits. I’m not sure if you can teach curiosity. Can you? Nah. Some people don’t know the difference between curiosity, gossip and downright rudeness.