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Adam Borowski

On reacting to rudeness

What’s rude in one society doesn’t necessarily have to be rude in another. Looking someone in the eyes is a cultural custom in Israel, Europe and the U.S., but in Asia, generally speaking, you’re going to find more people who avoid eye contact. Not because they’re liars or hiding something, it’s just a different culture.

But, be it Israel, Europe, the U.S., or Asia, rudeness is frowned upon and there are myths, legends and stories describing all sorts of curses, misfortunes, and other lessons that happen to rude individuals.

I remember reading a story about a rude princess who got cursed in a terribly creative way to correct her bad behavior. Every time she wanted to speak, or rant at the world for that matter, vile creatures would fall out of her mouth. Toads, spiders, and other ”pleasantries.” At that point, it didn’t matter if she wanted to be rude or just say something. After weeks of eye-rolling, and tantrum-throwing, she finally realized there’s no point resisting anymore and gave up on rudeness. After apologizing for her rudeness, she started being ladylike, much to the amusement of her social circle. People around her started using bad words to annoy the princess and remind her of the privilege she’d lost.

Sounds like the kind of crafty punishment God would come up with. Or a strict mother. Or the Chinese psychic I came across, and who accused me of rudeness.

We can’t avoid rudeness. It’s all around us. All we can do is either ignore it or react to it. I’d say it all depends on the context. Sometimes, reacting to rudeness is good. Sometimes, it can be dangerous. For example, you’re sitting in a restaurant and there’s a drunk guy shouting obscenities and wanting to throw chairs around. Walking up to him and trying to moralize probably isn’t the best idea, even if you think you could take him on in a fight. Things could escalate in ways you don’t want or need. It’s best to ask yourself if intervening is strategically sound. I know there are people who can’t resist moralizing everywhere they go but it’s a recipe for disaster. Someone, somewhere, is going to have enough of holier-than-thouness and things could end really, really badly.

In essence, it’s good to react to rudeness and all sorts of nasty behavior, but it can’t be done without thinking of the consequences. Don’t forget there are people who walk around with a chip on their shoulder and they are rude to provoke you. They don’t care about what you have to say. They want to provoke you, even physically attack you. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Why waste time on fools who can’t control themselves?

About the Author
Adam Borowski is a technical Polish-English translator with a background in international relations and a keen interest in understanding how regime propaganda brainwashes people so effectively. He's working on a novel the plot of which is set across multiple realities. In the novel, he explores the themes of God, identity, regimes, parallel universes, genocide and brainwashing. His Kyiv Post articles covering a wide range of issues can be found at https://www.kyivpost.com/authors/27