One Lonely Little Grey Check Mark

I don’t know how soldiers’ parents managed back in the olden days when Israel was at war, not hearing from their sons and daughters for weeks on end, no technology that would make contact easier. I’d have lost my mind. Even with the technology I am losing my mind.

Today we have great technology. But with great technology comes obsession and fear. I would say most, if not all, IDF soldier parents/families use WhatsApp to communicate with their warriors. As you probably know when a message is sent via WhatsApp you see a grey check mark. When it’s received you see two grey check marks. And when it’s read (provided they haven’t turned off this feature), you see two beautifully blue check marks. And that is usually followed by a “Hi Mom, Hi Dad, I’m fine. Love you. Speak soon” or words to that effect. And for the moment you can breathe again because you know they’re back from wherever they went.

Most of us text our deployed soldiers daily (hourly? Just me?). Just to reach out. Send some love and encouragement. Some send memes and jokes. It’s as much for them as it is for us – a way to stay in contact. But sometimes our texts linger on the solo grey check mark. Which means the soldiers don’t have their phones, which means they are on a mission somewhere doing something important. So we keep checking our WhatsApp to see if our messages have been delivered. Have they been read? Nope, still one grey check mark. We send more messages because we need to try to stay in touch. 48 hours go by with the grey check mark still lingering, and your obsessive checking of the chat hasn’t helped one whit. Your friends are waiting with you for their own blue check marks, and you sit together, miles apart, worrying together. Now we’re at 72 hours and that grey check mark seems to be mocking us.

Your phone’s volume is set to high so that you don’t miss that text. You sleep (if you sleep) with one ear listening out for that all important text. And when you get up in the morning it’s the first thing you check even before you say Modeh Ani. But there’s still only one grey check mark. And you drag yourself out of bed and get your day going because what choice do you have? But that phone is an extra limb, that WhatsApp chat a natural obsession. That feeling in the pit of your stomach can only be relieved with two blue check marks.

Who knew that two tiny little blue check marks could mean so very much.

I pray we all get the double blues very soon and that we don’t have to go through this emotional turmoil again.