To the professor who tried to make my life a living hell, to the professor who targeted me because I was a Jew, to the professor who ruined my chances at grad school, to the professor who didn’t win.
I never hated you, nor had anything against you, I had a high regard for you and even more respect for your work; I was patient with you and always defended you when others spoke ill against you. Yet despite my faith in you, you were repugnant of me. You ignored me when I spoke, you invalidated my ideas, you humiliated me in front of my classmates, you expressed your beliefs that I would never go far, and you graded me harsher then anyone else. Why?
Because of who I was. Because I was Jewish.
I have always been a very openly proud Jew and supporter for the State of Israel. To show my dedication, I re-founded my campus Hillel and organized events to show the world what Judaism and Israel truly represent.
My Campus was tiny, 2 500 students to be exact, so everyone knew I was head of the “Jewish club” and everyone understood what I stood for…. You didn’t like it, so you brought me down. I remember the look on your face when I said my thesis topic was to study trauma with a special outlook on Israel. After that day, you made sure I would pay for my comment. And oh did you make me pay.
You and I know very well the real reason for your dislike over me. Although you may have protected your every step, the truth always reveals itself in the most curious of ways. For you, it was your inability to hide your emotions.
You made me do trice as much work as everyone, and made sure my grades were twice as bad as my classmates. In fact, they were my witness throughout all this, always in shock about your behaviour towards me, but too afraid to speak up. I don’t harbor bitter feelings towards them; they were afraid, afraid of your judgment and prejudice. I was afraid too. But I’m not afraid anymore.
I never thought I would write this article because I never believed it would change anything and my mouth was paralyzed by your authority over me, but now I have realized something impertinent: It is not me who should be anxious, it is you.
And guess what, I’d do it all over again. Because no professor, no person, no system, will make me neglect and hide who I am and what I believe in. So go ahead, smugly grin at your well intended sabotage but know in the end that your hate, only made my efforts stronger. In the end you are partly responsible for my fervent struggle against anti-Semitism and anti- Zionism.
So tell me, who won in the end?