Our Father, Our Therapist
In every month of the Hebrew calendar, Gd takes on a different form. He is all-knowing, all-present, and can so to say assume every position needed in a person’s life. What I mean by this is that He can be our King, our Father, and the Shechinah, our mother—whenever we need Him to be. And as Jews, each month we get to experience HaShem’s special middah of that time period.
For example, in Elul, we acknowledge Him as our Creator, the decider of what will come to be in the next year for ourselves and for the whole world. In Sivan, we coronate HaShem once again as our King while we accept the burden of mitzvos and recommit ourselves to a devout Torah life. In this way, every month has a particular Divine strength that comes to light with its holidays.
I’d like to suggest that with the coming month of Av, HaShem is our Father, as the name tells us, but also He is our Comforter, as we know from the expression Menachem Av, our Father who comforts us. As much as we feel harshness in this month, with the fast of Tisha Bav and mourning our Galus, and being careful with not engaging in anything risky because of HaShem’s powerful middah of Din during this time, there is a “softer side,” where Gd just wants us to be there with Him. Where HaShem really wants just to be our Father and for us to keep His holy Laws, so He can be our Father.
Recently I was exchanging birthing stories with a neighbor I met on a walk. She told me that when she was postpartum especially, she was very overwhelmed with all her kids and would always talk to HaShem to release her feelings. He is the best therapist, she said. So I said, Right because He’s free and always there to listen. My neighbor agreed, adding that it’s really because “I can tell him anything I want and everything that’s on my mind without a hesitation for a second. And it really helps.”
HaShem is our true Therapist and healer, the most genuine kind. He is the One we can always confide in and receive reassurance, through our faith and Bitachon, that things are good and more good will come.
During the month of Av, if we play things right and show we care about Him being in our lives, we can cash in on this strong middah of Comfort, where HaShem wants to heal our wounds, comfort us from our constant suffering as a people and as individuals, and just to be with us through His Torah. We bring the motherly Shechinah down through caring about the details and observing each mitzvah to the best of our ability—and like it’s a candy to us and not a burden. That’s a hard level to get to!
As we know, Hashem operates measure for measure. So according to this, if we care so much about how we treat and “observe” Him, He will put so much thought and care into how He treats us. And unlike a good friend or devoted spouse, we can dump on Him as much as we want. Through the text of Tehillim and Tefillah, as well as our own words (as my wise neighbor had told me), we can share with HaShem whatever we need to share and whenever we need to without having to make an appointment or write out a check. HaShem is always with us and ready to talk to us—in whatever way that means to you.
As my Rav, Yosef Roth, would always bless me: may we experience many רפואות, ישועות, and נחמות this summer. And beyond the month of Av, may we always feel HaShem as a מרפא and healer much more than we look to Him as a דין and critic.