Overcoming Withholding Syndrome
The binding of Isaac (akedat yitzchak) is one of the most emotional and challenging stories in Jewish literature. Millenia of struggle and rivers of ink have failed to yield a satisfactory answer why Abraham fought with God to save Sodom and Gemorah, yet immediately agreed to sacrifice his own son, without even receiving an explanation for that impossible command. Abraham even set his alarm clock—va-yashkem avraham ba-boker—to get an early start on the journey to sacrifice Isaac.
We are encouraged to pay close attention to repeated words and phrases, which often help unlock the text’s meaning, yet precious few commentators have discussed the twice-repeated phrase “you did not withhold your son” / v’lo chasachta et bincha. Gen. 22:12, 22:16.
The story explains that Abraham’s obedience earned him blessings. It feels conspicuous that the Torah chose a roundabout way of describing Abraham’s merit. Rather than straightforward language like “because you agreed to sacrifice your son,” Abraham is instead lauded because he “did not withhold” his son.
In modern Hebrew the verb lach’soch means to save, for example in a bank account. We save money by not spending it, so the meaning of the word lies in reducing expenditures, i.e., exercising forbearance. This seems to be how the Torah uses the word as well; hence the common, and seemingly correct, translation, that Abrham “did not withhold” Isaac from whatever fate awaited him. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, one of the few commentators to focus on this phrase, explains: “The test was not whether Abraham would sacrifice his son but whether he would give him over to God.”
The understanding that Abraham’s merit lay in “not withholding” helps explain why the rabbis decided this story should be read on Rosh Hashanah, as we prepare ourselves for the new year. “Withholding” (or “holding back”) is a temptation that must be overcome for human beings to achieve as much as possible in the world. In perhaps the clearest reverberation of Abraham’s courage not to withhold his son from seemingly imminent danger, since October 2023 an increasing number of diaspora Jewish parents have proudly supported their children’s decision to volunteer for service in the IDF. This is an obvious way of emulating Abraham’s example today.
A more commonplace, but also very important, way to overcome “withholding” syndrome is to be more generous in helping others. In this sense, while Abraham was rewarded for not withholding his son, a key challenge facing every person is to avoid withholding ourselves.