Parshat Ekev: Embracing Life’s Cycles

Devarim 8:3: He humbled you and He starved you and He fed you the Manna… As we take a look at our lives we find that we keep on finding ourselves in repetitive cycles. These things keep on repeating themselves until we finally decide to end it and move on. Much like the year has its cycle that we cannot stop, we have Shabbatot, Chagim and Birthdays that will arrive even long after we are gone, so too in our lives there are things that will continue as our personal cycle that we will be living with our entire lives. The characteristics that we were born with and the nurture we’ve experienced as we were growing up, they both shape our identity and with them we step into our future.

It is important to recognize that our entire life is one continuous story, and even when your 20s and 30s seem to be unrelated, it is at the end that you will clearly see how they have built the perfect person to fulfill this specific duty. There are struggles and joy that we are destined to live through, in order for us to reach the best version of ourselves. We may disagree with many things that happen to us but once we relinquish all control and hand it over to Hashem, we start living in the present moment, surrendered to the facts of life. 

In our first lifetime, we had many things to work on. We struggled with our kindness and love, we were able to perfect ourselves in our traits of happiness and were successful in some other areas as well. But once we die we take stock of how much more work is left for us to do, so we come back down to finish up the struggles that we have still yet to hone. Essentially, the things that we are struggling with today have been the same struggles we’ve been dealing with in the past lifetimes that we still haven’t perfected. This may explain why there are some problems we can get over pretty easily while there are those that keep haunting us for what seems like forever. Well naturally, since we’ve been struggling with these issues for many lifetimes, it is no wonder why we feel so burdened by them in our current lifetime.

One of the first steps one must take to put themself on track to success is to create a goal or a vision that they dream and wish for. This is the easy part, let’s give an example. Imagine a person who’s been fighting his Evil Inclination for fifty years now, he’s in the nursing home and is now given the opportunity to do what he hasn’t done his entire life. Would you fall for the temptation or would you say, “I’ve worked too hard my entire life to let this persuade me right now.” We know who we want to be when we get older and we also know how much one little act can disrupt the work of so many years, so it would be a natural response of the brain to turn it down. But the hard part is to start the fifty years today.

When the Yidden went through the desert for forty years they had to leave the slave mentality behind. It would be too easy for them to revert back to their old ways and to their comfort zones with just the slightest hint of discomfort, that’s why we see in Parshat Beshalach (Exodus 13:17), “And Hashem didn’t lead them through the land of the Pelishtim, since it is too close [to Egypt].” We had to go into the wilderness for us to not know our way back and learn to trust the path the Lord has chosen for us. He pained us with plagues and hunger, He gave us a run for our money and installed trouble makers within our midst, all so we can learn how to fully trust in Him and hand over our problems to Him. 

He created the vision for us, implanted within us the image of flowing milk and honey and now we have to start working toward that goal with all of our stumbles and falls for forty years. It is our duty on earth to perfect ourselves as much as possible, to refine our characters to become the ultimate fighter for His sake. We learn how to close off patterns that have been haunting us for so many lifetimes and learn how to accept the traits and personality of our being in our lives. One may ask, “What can I do better with? What are the things that I should be focusing on?” The answer is simple, take a look at your life and see what struggles keep on reincarnating themselves. Which struggles don’t seem to pass even after the situation changes, and make it a point to become aware of this challenge and implement the necessary changes in order to bring you closer to the vision you dream of.

Where we find ourselves lost sometimes is when we fall into despair. We have been trying to deal with our struggles for so long and we have started implementing changes in our behaviors. We have risen to highs and lowered to new lows and at those points we feel like Hashem has it out for us and we start feeling distant and alone in our life. Many give up after trying so hard for so long and many wouldn’t blame them for their decision. But, what will be with the vision of success and does this decision translate into another reincarnation in the future? It may seem easy to let go and just revert to our days of disbelief, but aren’t we forgetting that the whole reason we started the work in the first place was because we were so alone and lost when we didn’t believe?!

The Mishnah in Avot 3:10 states, “All, whom the spirit of mankind appreciate, the spirit of the Place [Hashem] appreciates them as well.” When we fall and feel like giving up, this should be the gauge that we should measure our growth. We may feel broken in shambles but what are the people around us thinking? Are they respecting your wishes and listening to your will? Are your wife and children proud to be led by your example? Do you find satisfaction in your life, at your job, with your learning, during your times when alone? If so, you can rest assured that up there they are appreciative of your existence and wish for you to carry on.

Notice how the patterns keep on repeating themselves. If your wife asked you to take out the garbage, that request will keep on repeating itself until it is implemented and carried out. The same is with every other thought that still has yet to be done, it will keep on nagging until we pay attention to it. We are so used to pushing away those thoughts and we end up in vicious cycles for years on end until we finally recognize that this is exactly what I came down to earth for. 

Yes, it’s a long road of many ups and downs. “And He humbled us and He starved us, to teach us the answers and to test us, so that we recognize Hashem.” When we see the appreciation here on earth we get to feel the appreciation He has for us up in heaven. We keep that great vision in mind and work towards it for the rest of our lifetime. And with this strong knowledge we become invincible and we can already start feeling that this will be our final stop before our final and glorious destination in the Garden of Eden surrounded in the presence of the Al-Mighty.

David Lemmer is an Orthodox Jewish Author and Hypnotherapist. Watch his videos on YouTube @LemmerNetwork and find his books on Amazon. He can be reached at LemmerHypno@gmail.com