Parshat Vayeitzei 5786
“Then Yaakov kissed Rochel and he raised his voice and wept.” Bereishis 29: 11
In this week’s Parsha we read about how when Yaakov met Rochel at the well, he experienced conflicting emotions. He felt tremendous joy at having finally met his bashert, yet he raised his voice and cried. Rashi explains that he cried because he came empty-handed. He said, “My father’s servant came with ten camels laden with gifts and finery, and I came without anything.”
Rashi goes on to explain to us why he didn’t bring a gift for Rochel. When Yaakov found out that Eisav was plotting to kill him, he fled from his father’s home. Eisav sent his son Elifaz to chase down Yaakov. Elifaz was a Tzaddik, and when he approached Yaakov, who was not only his uncle but his Rebbi too. He said, “I can’t kill you because you are an innocent man. On the other hand, what will be with the command of my father?” Yaakov answered him, “A poor man has the halachic status of a dead man. Take my money, and it will be considered as if you killed me, so on some level you will have fulfilled your father’s words.” As a result, Yaakov came to the well empty-handed. When it was time to propose to Rochel, he didn’t have the gifts that would be expected, and so, he raised his voice and cried.
Yaakov cried because he didn’t have a beautiful gift to give her. The question is – why? All that Rochel really wanted was being delivered to her. If so, why did Yaakov cry?
It seems that the answer is that the lack of gifts may not have bothered Rochel much, but the bottom line was that it wasn’t respectful to her. When you come to your Kallah, you bring her a gift. That is the way that dignified people act. That is the way of the world, and it isn’t proper to come without a gift. On some level, it isn’t treating her with the kavod due to her, and that caused Yaakov pain – so much pain that he raised his voice and cried. On some level, it was a slight loss to the honor of Rochel. It wasn’t befitting how significant of a human being she was, so it moved him to tears.
This is a tremendous lesson to us because the people that we live amongst aren’t on the level of Rochel. To them, a slight to their honor is something that causes them real pain. People will go to great lengths to protect their reputation and dignity because these things are very important to them. And for that reason, we need to develop a real sensitivity to other people’s dignity and honor.
Have a wonderful Shabbos!!
This Dvar Torah was based on The Sensitivity of a Tzadik Parshas Vayeitzei By Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier of the Shmuz
