Person close to oneself

What do you do when everything around you is falling apart?

How do you face the reality? Do you stop or do you start?

Do you confront or do you cower?

Do you stand strong or do you give up your power?

Words are healing for me. Words validate and bring forth what is flowing down from above into a glimpse or a morsel of the clarity we are trying to convey, not only for others, but also for ourselves. This concept of standing up for ourselves, expressing ourselves, and being true to ourselves is my mission in life. For myself, my family, my students and clients, I explain  ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME.

It is not selfish, it is self care. Confidence, not conceit. Healthy humility not eager ego. Recently someone said to me that it felt like I was not eager to make time for them. Also I am working with a client who is in her seventies, and looking to feel whole and loved. She keeps on thinking and saying that I sound like I am not interested, or people do not like her. Luckily she is front the East Coast and can candle my straight up directness when I tell her that it is only in her mind. How we think of ourselves is our reality. I always remember learning a profound truth in a personal development training. People think that everyone is looking at them, but everyone is thinking that same thought and only focused on themselves. We are so busy in our own heads, so judging, comparing and competing make no sense. JUST BE YOU. If people vibe with it, great, and if not, what they think of you is none of your business! Someone recently said they mistook his directness for anger, and I replied: we are all unique and not everybody can handle us. I love directness and I think it’s an East Coast thing or a cultural thing, and even a city thing. Right now everyone wants to diagnose everything, you are amazing, directness is a gift of clairty and expressing yourself.

DIRECTNESS IS NOT ANGER

IT IS CONFIDENCE NOT CONCEIT

IT IS CLARITY NOT EGO

IT IS FIRMNESS AND NOT DIMINISHING YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU MEET

My yoga teacher Raghavan, who just turned 94, would say, depression is yesterday and anxiety is tomorrow, stay present, today is a gift. Did you know that in the Hebrew language there is no present tense, nobody says I am, because we just are. So in English, whatever comes after I am is dangerous, because you choose it as your identity, and it locks you in. FOREVER. We are meant to grow, change, develop, learn, adjust, persevere, and keep moving forward. Stagnant is not living, every day we say Modeh Ani, thanking our creator for our soul to have another day. Starting your day with gratitude brings you present to what is, and how everything is a miracle. Once you start noticing negative messaging within yourself, you can stop and move on, it is not your reality. We create our own reality. Creation happens in every moment, and in the blink of an eye, שויתי השם לנגדי תמידת, a whole new world opens up. Sometimes it closes, but a closed door leads to a new possibility. Breakdown leads to breakthrough, and we are not God, we are not in control. Surrender to what is, yet give it your all, this is the partnership with our creator to fulfil our mission and purpose in this world. The descent is for the ascent. A person close to oneself אָדָם קָרוֹב אֵצֶל עַצְמוֹ is a lesson from the gemara about not self incriminating. Also not being a false witness to yourself, practicing rigorous self honesty. Recognizing your genuine feelings, motives and flaws instead of rationalizing behaviors, denying reality, or maintaining a misleading self image.

All of these words ring so true and keep me grounded below and connecting up high. I am one of a kind. I am beautiful inside and out. I am one hundred percent myself all of the time? Can you say this? I can, and I am so grateful. It has nothing to do with ego, a healthy ego is essential. Being a victim and putting yourself down is also ego. Woe is me is a luxury. When you know Hashem is in charge, it is a freedom, it is not up to me, and it is all in the hands of God. However we have to show up as our true selves, or it does not work. Who are you? We are beyond our name, our essense connects to the essence above. We all have a unique spark in our soul. Only you can create what you will create. You came to this world for a purpose and a reason, and the world needs your contribution. Nobody else can imagine and bring down your gifts and talents. You are needed. You are loved. You will only know this if you love yourself.

The quote below is so powerful. One of my clients is an accomplished mother of five, yet because of her childhood messaging, her yetzer hara, negative thoughts, stop her from thriving. We only stop ourselves. We always have a choice. CHOOSE YOU.

The Extra Step

Serving Hashem begins the moment you take one step past what feels natural.

That extra effort matters more than everything that came effortlessly.

~ The Alter Rebbe zt”l