Pesach Reinforces My Profound Sense Of Responsibility As A Jewish Grandparent

As both a community professional and lay leader, I often see a perspective of our community that worries me greatly.

I see an absence of tradition by younger and middle-aged generations with regards to important Jewish events like holding a Seder or attending synagogue on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I see many Jewish families deciding to have Christmas trees and gift Christmas presents to each other. My son in law has a brilliant way of describing it. He says that Jewish parents “contract out their kids’ education to Jewish schools and engage in no positive reinforcement at home.”

If we do not hold Passover seders and show our children and grandchildren how it is done, if we do not engage them in a child friendly way that puts them front and centre, enthuses them, involves them and allows them to showcase what they have learnt in school, at cheder or in other settings then we cannot blame our children when they decide to spend Passover on a beach somewhere later on it life.

Credit: Raphi Bloom

If we do not commit to spending Friday night together as a family, lighting Shabbat candles, making Kiddush and Hamotzi and understanding the meaning of Shabbat, even if we are not religious, then we cannot blame our children when they decide to go clubbing on a Friday night or go to the cinema.

If we do not make synagogue a fun, understandable and digestible place to go then we cannot blame our children when they skip important festivals and stay at work.

I am absolutely not saying that we all must be religious. I am the first person to always explain to people that Jews are a people and a religion. I spent the first 38 years of my life as a religious Jew and the last 17 years and counting as someone who is not religious. I am fiercely proud of being a Jew and not being religious anymore does not change that one bit.

But here’s the thing. All of us are the guardians of our Jewish traditions that go back millennia. We all have a responsibility.

The traditions that meant Spanish Jews in the Middle Ages ate Shabbat dinner in hiding, at the risk of death. Traditions that meant a seder was held in the Warsaw Ghetto at risk of death. Traditions that meant a shofar was blown at Auschwitz at risk of death. Traditions that meant people smuggled matzoh into the Soviet Union so Jews could celebrate Pesach in some way, even though it meant them risking life imprisonment in the Gulag.

That is why I make it my mission as a grandparent to ensure the Judaism we celebrate in our house – and our grandchildren’s homes – is vibrant, engaging, inclusive and understandable. I want my grandchildren to grow up as proud Jews, understanding of their people, their religion, their history, and their traditions whether they are religious or not.

And so, my plea to my fellow Jews who eschew the Seder for the beach, who swap kiddush and candles for a night out or who desire the tinsel and presents is to please reconsider.

Now, more than ever, in a world where Jews are under constant attack everywhere this responsibility is ours and we must not shirk it.