Mort Laitner
Mort Laitner

Pissing on Hitler’s Grave

While watching a World War II documentary on the History Channel, I heard an American soldier say, “When we reached the banks of Rhine River, we pulled out our manhood and “piddled” into the river to show our distain for Hitler and the Nazis. Boy, did it feel good!”

I wondered: “How many Brits, Canadians or American GIs followed suit?”

That soldier’s story brought back a memory of the time I toured Berlin by bus.

Our tour guide pointed out, “On your left, you will see a parking lot and an apartment complex which was once the sight of the Führerbunker. In that bunker, Adolf Hitler and his bride of two days, Eva Braun, committed suicide.”

“I don’t want our bodies desecrated.” Hitler told his boy guards. “The way the Italians hung up Mussolini’s and his mistress’  naked bodies to light pole and threw garbage at them. I don’t want the Russians to play with our corpses. Once you see that Eva’s and I are dead, take our bodies outside, douse us in gasoline and set us ablaze.”

However, Hitler’s plan failed. Their charred bodies were only partially cremated. Soviet soldiers discovered their blackened remains and delivered them to Stalin in Moscow.”

I recalled a sudden urge to get off the bus, walk over to the parking lot, pull it out and piddle onto to those hot brown cement pavers.

But I chickened out.

Then I wondered:

Has anyone ever used Hitler’s short-term gravesite as a lavatory?

How many Jews or Gentiles had had the same urge?

How many children of Holocaust survivors had chickened out?

Have any pishers ever gotten caught in the act and ended up in a Berlin jail?

Would there be a YouTube video of some guy or gal relieving themselves on this satanic gravesite?

So I researched the issue.

And lo and behold, there’s a YouTube video of a guy, Ben Pike, doing exactly what I feared doing. He has even highly recommended that his YouTube followers do the same thing.

And this brave Ben tops it off with a deafening, “‘Fuck you Hitler!”

His scream was so loud that I felt his catharsis.

Those three words jumped off the screen and got buried in my ears.

So, Ben due to your bravery, chutzpah and testicular fortitude I’m reposting your video.

Young man, you have one big set of cajones.

So on behalf of the multitudes, thanks for pissing on Hitler’s grave.

About the Author
Florida's Jewish short-story writer, speaker, film producer and retired attorney. He has authored, "A Hebraic Obsession", "The Hanukkah Bunny" and "The Greatest Gift." He produced an award-winning short film entitled, "The Stairs". Movie can be viewed on my TOI blog. Mort is a correspondent for the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel Jewish Journal.
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